There once was a tortoise who read far too many books. Ordinarily this is not a problem which tortoises have, but this tortoise was a voracious reader. One day the tortoise saw his picture on the cover of a book and opened it excitedly. On reading the book he came across the story of a…
Lots of complaints lately about the lack of snakes on this blog. Ok. Let’s drill down on a couple facts. Snakes are reptiles. Many snakes can go without eating for several months. Snakes do not chew their food. Snakes do not have eyelids. Snakes only eat meat. Cleopatra poisoned herself with snake bites to avoid…
Brains are not expensive. In fact, when Timothy was born they were 75% off at the corner store. Unfortunately, his parents were unaware of the sale and opted to purchases only half the usual amount. In reality this suited Timothy well. He hung around with all of the jocks in school. He stole pudding. He…
History / Literature / Writing
Back to Homer already. Did I mention that the Illiad contains violence? Yeah. There’s a point where the violence almost overtakes the story. Blood everywhere, brains spilling out, eyeballs popping out of heads and falling on the ground, and oh yeah, there’s a story in here somewhere. You want violence? Here’s some violence. Blood spraying…
It’s about waking up in a basement when you’re 30 with a dead end job that’s wrecking your back and realizing that you can take control of a small segment of your life. I’ve always had talent and ability, but I haven’t always had the wherewithal to see them through. It’s easy to make excuses…
Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. -Lewis Carroll I’ve always been fond of Through the Looking Glass. It seems that where Alice in Wonderland runs on total chaos, Through the Looking Glass runs on some sort of perverse order. Let’s face it, that white knight dude had it figured out.…
Hundreds of years ago bell peeling was a common practice. By removing the outer layers of the bell which have been damaged by noise pollution the sound and tone of the bell are clarified and enhanced. Today bell peeling is something of a lost art, and many people simply do not know how to do…
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. – Winston Churchill Perhaps the most palpable illustration of Churchill’s maxim can be seen in the case of the Tin Woodman vs. the Stainless Steel Woodman. While the Tin Woodman has gained lasting immortality as a result of his association with a certain…
Some days inspiration hits you like a lightning bolt. Other days you use the 10% rule. The 10% rule is simply that you must be 10% smarter than whatever you are working with. I find it to be one of life’s most useful guidelines. For example if you are trying to loosed a rusty bolt…
Warner sighed happily as he scraped the last crumbs of broccoli chocolate cake off of his plate. Such a satisfying meal. Long before he was born there had been no such thing as broccoli chocolate cake. Children had gotten their nutrition from eating something nasty and green that looked like little trees. Or at least,…
Dogs and children are generally not fond of thunder. I don’t suppose dogs have changed much in this regard over the century, but I have to think that thunderstorms would have been pretty rough for kids in the old days. Especially for kids unlucky enough to grow up in Ancient Greece. Not only was thunder…
I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. -Winston Churchill Cats are very smart. If you want to listen to people who are too smart check out NPR. Dogs are nice, if you’re a dog. But if you’re a person don’t try to be a…
