793: When God Opens A Door

Phillip & Carnegie were the best bank robbing duo since Bonnie & Clyde. That’s not to say that they were entirely comparable to that famous couple. While Bonnie & Clyde set time aside from their life of crime to focus on romance and glamour, Phillip & Carnegie were focused strictly on business and never let…

792: Nuts For Lunch

When you want to eat some nuts And you packed a bunch for lunch Before you start to munch Think, and don’t use luck Cause if you don’t think much You will fund out soon enough You should have brought cashews instead of peanuts Photo by Jess Loiterton on Pexels.com

Bible Stories #26: Great Hair

Absalom had great hair. When I say great hair, I mean really, incredibly great hair. The kind of hair that would induce uncontrollable drooling in an 80s hair band. Once a year Absalom would cut his hair, and whenever he cut it he would weigh the hair that was cut off, just for bragging rights.…

791: I Need Your Cow

The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual events or individuals is purely coincidental, as is any confluence between this story and any other previously published work.  I Need Your Cow It’s a quarter after noon I’m up on the dock And I need your cow Picture perfect memories Scattered little grains…

798: My Mom Changed The World

On November 9th, 2016 I received a text message from my Mom. It was something of an unusual occurrence, as my Mom didn’t text very often. On November 8th Donald Trump had been elected as the 45th President of The United States. I don’t think my Mom had been enthralled by the concept of voting…

797: If I Only Had A Brain

If I only had a brain I wouldn’t use it ever I wouldn’t even try To be a little clever I’d put it on the internet And sell it for some change But since I’ve never had a brain This song is kind of strange I’ll have to find another way To pay for all…

796: The Peanut Butter Sandwich

I have always had a fondness for peanut butter sandwiches. In fact, I’m something of a peanut butter sandwich snob. PB&J with Jif peanut butter and strawberry jam on an artisanal sourdough bread. Heaven. You can’t get a sandwich like that everyday, so you’ve got to grab it when you get the chance. I happened…

795: Bear Cave

“Help! Help! I need an ambulance!” “Hey Mr….” “Help! Please help!” “Mr. your arm is gone!” “Darn right my arm is gone! Get me an ambulance.” “But what happened to your arm?” “I went in that little door at the back of the store and got jumped by a six foot grizzly. “ “Why’d you…

794: Find Me A Quill

“Can you find me a quill?” “What sort of quill.” “Just a normal quill. Nothing special.” “Where would I find that?” “I don’t know.” “Then how do you expect me to find it.” “By looking.” “But how will I know where to look if you won’t tell me?” “If I told you where to look…