James Archibald Percival Wisenhunt III was an adamant believer in self improvement. He was constantly devising schemes to push himself to the next level, both physically and mentally. The intricacies and intensity that was displayed in his workout sessions is almost impossible to describe. He was constantly reading or listening to stimulating intellectual material. He…
Melvina was tired of picking strawberries. She felt like she was getting sunburned. Ugh, she should have put on more sunscreen this morning. She looked back in the direction she had come. My gosh, this strawberry field seemed to go on forever. Oh well, her basket was full anyway. She started to head back. The…
Tom and Josephine Watson rarely got off the farm. They were one of those old farm couples that would come in to town about once a week. Town, of course, was a little spot on the map with about seven hundred people, a grocery store, a bar, a church and a hardware store. Because they…
We fight, we die, for a simple thing. Only that a man can stand up. -Esther Forbes “Eat your vegetables!” Sam’s parents used to tell him. Most people don’t call tree roots vegetables, but that’s what Sam’s parents called them. Sam didn’t like eating his vegetables. He was what some might call a problem child.…
Logging is generally a pretty low key job. I mean, sure, you have gajillion ton trees that are falling down inches from your face, and the chance for serious injury and death is pretty great, but aside from that it’s pretty chill. Of course, if you happen to be logging in an enchanted forest it…
Halfway to the planet Bulchner there is a small asteroid. I can’t blame you if you haven’t heard of it. The truth is that I had scarcely heard of it before I began the research for this post, and, as we all know, I am very knowledgable regarding celestial bodies. Some have even referred to…
Helena was sure she had been on Jackson Street before. In fact, she could have sworn she’d already been down 2nd as well. It felt like she was going around in circles. Maybe she was lost. She hadn’t been out much since this whole cornella virus scare had started. She felt a little out of…
Some days the world sucks so much you want to bury your head in the sand. What should you do? Probably bury your head in the sand. If you’re looking to ignore the world here are a few handy tips. Fill a bucket of sand big enough to stick your head in. Put on a…
The trains carried memories across dimensions. Tall men with buffalo guns leaned out the windows. -Artemus B. Funkleton Lemme get one thing straight with you. Artemus B. Funkleton is not a real person. I wrote them sentences, and thought they sounded cool. But they also sound as pretentious as pig manure, and I don’t…
Florida is basically Colorado, but for old people. -Anonymous. Shawna had just finished folding her bed when her cellphone rang. “It must be an old person,” she thought. Young people don’t make unscheduled phone calls. Glancing at the phone she saw that it was her grandmother from Florida. Slightly annoyed, she picked up the…
Health conscious consumers across the nation who are tired of the inconveniences associated with traditional style face-masks now have the perfect solution: the open concept face-mask. These convenient and easy to use masks have caught on like wildfire, and online retailers across the country are scrambling to keep up with demand. “We completed sold out…
Professor Monocle P. Herton spent 27 years as a relatively obscure professor of Egyptology at the Northern California State University, before having a breakout season during the academic year of 2011-2010. Herton’s success at the time was widely lauded. The New York Times praised his “prescient ability to communicate the relevancy of Ancient Egyptian History…
