All boys have a fascination with fishing, and I was no exception. Almost from the time I could walk I was infatuated with catching fish in the creek the ran out behind our house. The only problem, of course, was that we live on a mountain. The creek, though it was only a couple hundred…
Long ago, in the day when Dinosaurs roamed the earth and before chivalry and honor were quite dead, there lived a Walrus. The Walrus had no friends, no possessions, and absolutely nothing to say. We do not care about the Walrus. We do however, care about the Lobster. For the Lobster, as you know, had…
Lewis Carroll’s classic 1865 novel “Alice’s Adventure’s in Wonderland” contains a poem about a man named Father William. Except for the brief mention of Father William Carroll’s poem has absolutely nothing to do with the following piece. You are old Father William Your face is crust And your nostrils as hairy as fleas And whenever…
I’m numb and exhausted. Today I got to hold my baby girl. Someday, when this life is over, I will get to meet her. I want that so badly. I will get back to more regular blogging at some point, but right now I barely have the capacity to put one foot in front of…
So you want to write for the New York Times? Congratulations! The New York Times is the most popular and respected newspaper in the country, writing for such a distinguished publication is a career pinnacle for many writers and journalists. Anyone can write for the Times, you’ll just have to follow these simple steps. Here’s…
On Christmas day in 1914 an unofficial truce occurred between German and French soldiers fighting on the Western front in France. For one day they set aside hostilities and shared Christmas, bound by the common ties of Western culture and humanity that held them together. This story is often trotted out as a heartwarming and…
Wise men in centuries past have mused on the differences between thoughts and desires. Parsed out that fine line between the longings of the heart and the bare necessities which are required for existence. I myself have pondered on this question. I find that while there are many things I could do without, there are…
There’s a green apple hanging just out of reach over by the fence. As hard as you try to reach it, the apple will always remain just out of reach. You can climb on the fence and reach for the apple, but just as your fingers are about to close around it you will slip,…
As is the case in several such orders, the sisters of perpetual adulation have the strictest of rules when it comes to the clothing they are allowed to wear. Each sister is required to sew her own clothes, and in the interest of frugality the sisters are expressly prohibited from discarding old clothes before they…
In 1819 Rip Van Winkle wrote a short story entitled “Rip Van Winkle” About a man who goes to sleep for 20 years and wakes up to discover that things changed while he was asleep. Although the story has proved quite popular over the last two hundred years, the adaptations of it have proven themselves…
To refer to the intelligence, or lack thereof, in a given individual by giving reference to the mental acumen of their bodily posterior is an idiosyncratic tradition perhaps as old as time itself. However, when one pauses to consider the implications of this tradition one would be forgiven for failing to see the inherent logic…
I took another drag on my cigarette, and blew a puff of smoke out the window of my Bentley. The hills I was driving past were pretty nice, but there was one that kind of annoyed me. It’s shape wasn’t quite right. I couldn’t quite put my finger on why, it just annoyed me. “Do…
I write for fun, but I draw pictures for a living. I’ve heard that a picture is worth a thousand words, but if I got paid as much for a thousand words as I get paid for one picture I would be making a lot more money that I do. I don’t get paid big…
Most crimes which are committed in houses are committed against the inhabitants of the houses. Some crimes, however, are committed against the houses themselves. One such crime is the crime of arson. Elgin B. Whidley was an accomplished and prolific arson. The success of his work could be measured in ashes and smoke throughout the…
Not every Sure-Lock Home boasted such powerful pedigrees of crime stopping. One such house, nestled into a quiet neighborhood to the south of London, hardly saw a crime in its entire existence. At least, not until Wednesday November 4th. On that night, Jeremiah Wilkers murdered his wife. It was a quiet, peaceful murder. Nothing much…
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