850: The Coffee Test

The world is compromised of two kinds of people: those who can take decisive action, and those who cannot. So thought Reginald Person, hiring manager at Merlin and Epicac. In order to sort out the wheat from the chaff Reginald devised a series of tests by which he could discern the individuals capable of taking…

840: Dog Bone

There was a woman named old woman Who lived in a cupboard Her dog wanted a bone But sadly enough The only one there Was between her shin and thigh The dog took a bite and chomped with delight Then suddenly swallowed a fly I don’t know why he swallowed a fly Perhaps he’ll… The…

808: Artistic Genius

Of all the great artistic geniuses in human history, the greatest by far is Oliver Backlin Macklinberg Tidedus III, who died at the age of 93 when he choked on a hair in his coffee. No one has ever seen anything that he created, he was careful to burn it immediately. Photo by lehandross on…

807: Crystal Fish

Free range fish farming and organic methamphetamine should never mix. Unfortunately Sandro B. Farmer learned that lesson far too late in life. Above all else, Sandro was an idealist. That’s why he started the free range fish farm in the first place. He loved to tend to his schools of Sole on the pleasant beach…

793: When God Opens A Door

Phillip & Carnegie were the best bank robbing duo since Bonnie & Clyde. That’s not to say that they were entirely comparable to that famous couple. While Bonnie & Clyde set time aside from their life of crime to focus on romance and glamour, Phillip & Carnegie were focused strictly on business and never let…

792: An Onion A Day

An onion a day keeps the doctor away It won’t keep you healthy Won’t stop you from sneezing Or getting the flu or the mumps when it’s breezy But lest you should think that this rhyme is just cheesy Imagine yourself as a doctor who’s wheezy Treating a patient who onions is eating While taking…

778: A Quick Buck

Marjorie’s essential oil business was off to a rough start. She was sure that it would take off very soon, but in the meantime she needed a few bucks to buy ice cream with. A quick google search gave her some good ideas, but which one should she choose? She didn’t like needles, so selling…

776: Gathered Belongings

Standard issue .45, socks, and a small green t-shirt. Floyd had left his pants at the ranch house three miles south on 93. He arranged his belongings on a rock, and took stock of the situation. What to do next. Floyd looked at the rock. He would need some water. That was for sure. Maybe…

772: The Grass On My Side of the Fence

The grass is always greener on my side of the fence. This is a result of the fact that I use Spinkmaster’s Lawn Food and Plant Vitamin Mixture, in addition to daily watering and regular mowings. Once I have completed my daily lawn care ritual I lean on the pickets and silently disparage my neighbor’s…