850: The Coffee Test

The world is compromised of two kinds of people: those who can take decisive action, and those who cannot. So thought Reginald Person, hiring manager at Merlin and Epicac. In order to sort out the wheat from the chaff Reginald devised a series of tests by which he could discern the individuals capable of taking…

840: Dog Bone

There was a woman named old woman Who lived in a cupboard Her dog wanted a bone But sadly enough The only one there Was between her shin and thigh The dog took a bite and chomped with delight Then suddenly swallowed a fly I don’t know why he swallowed a fly Perhaps he’ll… The…

838: From the Heart

It began as a warm, trickily feeling deep in Gertrude’s chest. Kind of nice at first, but thick and uncomfortable as time went on. Day by day the feeling increased. Gertrude felt that some foreign substance was inside of her, friends and acquaintances said that she was cheesier than usual. Finally, Gertrude decided to seek…

829: Fifty Beers From Now

The song “Fifty Years from Now” was fairly popular on Christian Radio when I was a kid. Apparently it was inspired by an off-hand comment overheard in a bow and arrow factory where I’ve done some construction work. We all have to be inspired by something. I am inspired by the fact that “year” and…

805: Fish, Shoot, Feed

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Actually, depending on the size of the fish you could feed him for several days, or merely provide him with an appetizer. What really gums up the works, however, is if you teach the same individual to fish. No longer will he be…

803: Pot & Pan

Pot always liked a good joke. The frustrating thing was that his companion Pan had absolutely no appetite for humor. “Hey Pan,” said Pot. “Do you know why Homer couldn’t spell fish?” Pause. Pan didn’t say anything. “No i’s!” Pot burst out laughing. “Hey Pan, do you know why I’m so good at telling jokes?”…

796: The Peanut Butter Sandwich

I have always had a fondness for peanut butter sandwiches. In fact, I’m something of a peanut butter sandwich snob. PB&J with Jif peanut butter and strawberry jam on an artisanal sourdough bread. Heaven. You can’t get a sandwich like that everyday, so you’ve got to grab it when you get the chance. I happened…

791: For Want of a Meal

Carter woke up and looked at the clock. It was 7:03, two minutes past breakfast time. Drat. He hated missing breakfast. He rolled over to fo back to sleep. He woke up again at 12:04. Three minutes past lunch. What a waste. He rolled over again. At 7:11 Carter woke up again. Dinner was long…