531: For The Want Of Cheese

Winston Q. McDonald wanted cheese. Cheese is not an abnormal thing to want, but in Winston’s case it was hard to get. He had been born on the plantet Xutportralex in the year 22b671, so obviously dairy products were entirely out of the question due to great cow blight in 21a639. “One way or another…

527: Dream Big

I have always believed in dreaming big. So I took a ballon, and I started blowing into it. I blew, and I blew, and kept blowing. The balloon kept growing. It grew until it was the size of a paper sack, it grew until it was the size of a suitcase, it grew until it…

525: Will There Be Peanut Butter?

Sadie licked the peanut butter off of her fingers and gave satisfied grin. “How about Tuesday?” Asked Annie. “Sure.” Said Sadie. “Will there be peanut butter?” “Lot’s of peanut butter.” Said Annie. Saturday arrived, then Sunday, Monday and finally Tuesday. Sadie arrived at 6:03 PM. “Where is the peanut butter?” She asked. “Can you hold…

522: What I Did With The Enchilada

So there I was, sitting in the grass eating a dang big Enchilada, and this dude walks up to me with a mustache. “Whatcha doing with that mustache, dude?” I yelled at him. He was grabbing it by the handlebar and dragging it around, and I didn’t think he was being nice. He glared at…

520: Fish Sticker

Who wants fresh fish? Anybody, anybody? What, you in the back? Do you have a fish sticker? What? No fish sticker? How can you expect to buy fish without a fish sticker? We have a no fish sticker, fish buyer here. What should we do? Take him outside, you say? Take him outside! Take him…

513: Free Cookies

Join the dark side and get a free cookie. -Ancient Proverb When I heard that I would get a free cookie if I joined the dark side I immediately signed up. In my minds eye I envisioned a great big, gooey chocolate chip cookie. In reality it was just a stale macaroon.I should have expected…

505: Salad Dressing

What would you like on your salad? Bleu cheese. Don’t have it. Ranch? Don’t have it. Thousand Island? Sorry. While what do you have. We have a balsamic vinaigrette, poppyseed and a used rubber tire salad dressing. Used rubber tire? Very good. No, stop! That’s not what I wanted. Waiter! come back! Photo by Enric…

504: A Life Of Words

Fyodore Dosteyevsky loved words. You could even say he made a career out of it. First he wrote pages of words, then the pages became chapters. Finally the chapters became books, and people bought the books and read them. “Hey, these are good words,” said somebody or other, and somebody or other agreed. And so…

488: Get Me Some Food

“Find me some food.” “What kind of food?” “Don’t matter.” “So any kind of food is ok?” “Shut your trap and get me some food.” “Ok, I’ll be back.” Just outside the door, out hero dodges into a dark alley. We do not see where he is going, but he betrays an air of purpose…

459: Grain Free Food

Ethically minded consumers across the world are gravitating to the grain free movement, the latest and most ethical trend in responsible grocery shopping. Although there seems to be little consensus as to what it actually means for a product to be grain free, there is almost unanimous agreement that buying and consuming grain free products…