“Paperclip for you! Paperclip for you! Paperclip for you! Paperclip for you! Everyone gets a paperclip! Five dollars for a paperclip!” “Why would I pay five dollars for a paperclip, when you’re giving them away to everyone else?” “It doesn’t matter how much they’re paying, for you it is five dollars!” “Ah, but it does…
The ignorant masses of antiquity lived at the mercy of the sun and the moon. For them, time was an organic fact of life which grew out of the surrounding world. These backwards and ignorant savages could hardly comprehend the sophistication with which we view time in our modern day. For an organic time left…
The growth of science often comes in rapid bursts, which follow years, decades, sometimes centuries, of malaise and inertness. So it was that When Jacob Muttermutt came on the scene the pace of scientific discovery had ground to an almost complete halt. Jacob, of course, changed all of that, and this was was only natural.…
The phone was ringing. Jared went to answer it. “Hello, this is Jared.” “Don’t be an idiot Jared.” “Okay.”
Here’s a pie for you Here’s a pie for you Here’s a pie for you In your face! Photo by Valeria Boltneva on Pexels.com
The world is compromised of two kinds of people: those who can take decisive action, and those who cannot. So thought Reginald Person, hiring manager at Merlin and Epicac. In order to sort out the wheat from the chaff Reginald devised a series of tests by which he could discern the individuals capable of taking…
“Doreen made meatballs this weekend.” The dentist smiled across my chair at the hygienist, who responded exactly as would be expected. “I haven’t had meatballs in ages.” Said the hygienist, reaching for a giant fishhook on a stick. “They were delicious. Doreen has this special little nutmeg powder that she puts in them.” “That sounds…
Whenever I back up in my car the little screen on the dash says “check surroundings for safety.” I always used to look around and see if I could see safety anywhere, but I never did. Today, as I was backing up, I heard a big crunch. I jumped out of the car, and ran…
Love was the only thing on Warner’s brain as he made his way to his girlfriend’s house for Valentine’s day dinner. Unfortunately he was so absorbed in his romantic fancies that he failed to see the large bull charging towards him. It took him about two and a half minutes to bleed out. When Carla…
Cow is dead. Cow remains dead. We have killed cow. How shall we comfort ourselves? -Neitzsche (paraphrased) Vilhelm was looking for a little fun on his trip to America, but he wasn’t sure where to turn. He had already tried burning man, armed robbery and fentanyl, and wasn’t sure where to turn next. That’s when…
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