It began as a warm, trickily feeling deep in Gertrude’s chest. Kind of nice at first, but thick and uncomfortable as time went on. Day by day the feeling increased. Gertrude felt that some foreign substance was inside of her, friends and acquaintances said that she was cheesier than usual. Finally, Gertrude decided to seek…
One day while Isaiah was prophesying God told him to take off all of his clothes and walk around buck naked. Being the obedient individual that he was Isaiah stripped and kept on preaching. After three years in the nude Isaiah told everyone that they were totally screwed. In fact, that’s why he hadn’t been…
Thirty-five days hath January, Likewise November February has Twenty-Five In case you would shiver March, perchance has thirty two The best salad is Caesar April bright has Thirty-three And May has Twenty-Seven June at noon has thirty-four July has twenty-eight August has full twenty-six September twenty-nine October has full Thirty December thirty-one Why are they…
Absalom had great hair. When I say great hair, I mean really, incredibly great hair. The kind of hair that would induce uncontrollable drooling in an 80s hair band. Once a year Absalom would cut his hair, and whenever he cut it he would weigh the hair that was cut off, just for bragging rights.…
I’m just a con man, doing his job Conning the people, and keeping them robbed No one’s got money, and everyone’s broke I am the one who can see through the smoke When they all suffer it’s all just a joke I silently laugh as I fill up my poke And wait for the day…
If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy Fathers; Namely, of the gods of the…
There was once a man named Manasseh who no sons to inherit his fortune, but five daughters. His daughters names were Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah and Tirzah. Anyone with a passing knowledge of Jane Austen will be fully aware of how this story is supposed to go. The oldest daughter winds up with a fellow…
The thing about facts You must say them with tact Or must I be incredibly clear? A fact is a fact If I say it That’s that Now be off! And don’t get all weird Photo by Adisak Pexels.com
It is often difficult for health enthusiasts to find a suitable alternative to bread, and since it is one of the primary staples of the modern diet this can present a serious problem. Alternative grains often taste disgusting, and the texture leaves much to be desired. With these problems in mind, researchers have begun to…
Some buns are squishy, some are hard, some are uneven, some are perfectly round and some are just perfect. The most perfect of all buns was Marguerite. It was true before she was even place in the oven. As she began to rise in the hot oven her beauty increased. By the time she was…
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