954: The Apple

Green apple, blue apple, red appleWhiteEveryone’s eating an apple tonightThe apple is growing And everyone’s knowingThat eating an apple tonightIs quite right Photo by mali maeder on Pexels.com

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Cooking / History

953: I’m starving

“Mom, I’m starving.” “Eat a brick.” “Ok.” “Not that one, I’m saving it for Uncle Carl.” “Which brick am I supposed to eat?” “One of the ones in the fridge.” “But they’re all spoiled.” “All of them? “ “Yes.” “Why?” “It go unplugged.” “Does that mean that the milk has gone bad too?” “Guess so.”…

environment / Love

952: Balls of Love

Trust the man with the shotgunIn the asparagus patchHe is only looking out for your best interestAnd the tiny little pellets coming out of the barrelAre not meant to cause painThink of them as balls of love Photograph by Our Robot Overlords

Philosophy / Science

951: Space Goat

Once upon a time there was a space goat. A very small little space goat, who liked cheese. You may think it is strange for a space goat to like cheese, but you are probably laboring under the misconception that space cheese is the same as earth cheese. It’s not. Space cheese has holes in…

950: Z is for Zizania Latifolia

Zizania Latifolia is a type of wild rice that is grown in asia. I know what you are going to say. Wild rice is a grain, not a vegetable. Wrong! It turns out that Zizania Latifolia is actually not grown for its grain. It turns out that the stalk of Zizania Latifolia is very susceptible…

949: Y is for Yuca

Yuca is some sort of root vegetable. According to google, no train arrives there at 3:10.

948: X is for Xigua

Xigua is how we will pronounce watermelon when China wins the war.

947: W is for Water Chestnut

No trip to the Chinese buffet is complete without the consumption of at least three plates of food. Or maybe five. The thing about Chinese food is that it is delicious. I use to live next door to a chinese restuarant. It was a favorite with the over seventy crowd. I would watch them crawl…

946: V is for Velvetleaf

According to legend albutilon theophrasti was brought to America because people wanted to make ropes out of it. I say legend because, as is probably obvious to all readers of this blog, I am a meticulous researcher, and haven’t been able to find any sources on the subject which I can point to definitively. That…

945: U is for Ulluco

Ulluco is pretty much a potato, except it’s not a potato. When I was a pore colege stoodent I lived off of rice and coffee. I would mix cayenne pepper into the rice because after living on rice for a couple of months it doesn’t taste very good. Cayenne does a pretty good job of…

944: T is for Turnip

Said a busy little ternI think my down is upIt may be quite a turnBut I’m not a buttercupAnd as the bird was chirpingI lifted up my cup And ate from deep withina tasty little turnip

943: S is for Spinach

Long ago, and far, far away, a brave sailor named Popeye was invented to help kids learn to like eating spinach. I never cared for Popeye much as a kid, although I have never been averse to the appeal of cartoon sailors. I just prefer Cap’n Crunch.

942: R is for Radish

Though you find it slightly faddishWhen you start eating a radishYou should know that there’s a bad dishAnd it’s there because it rhymesSo when you eat your radishOn a plate that’s slightly flattishLike a tire that is splatishKnow that you commit a crimeCause there’s nothing wrong with radishEven when your kind of fattishAnd your prone…

941: Q is for Quinoa

Evangeline had had enough. Her neighbor Tom was the most annoying, self abssessed, egomaniacal individual on the planet, and that wasn’t even taking into account his terrible foot odor. Fortunately, Quinoa is perfect for masking the taste of arsenic.

940: P is for Pea

Because of course it is. Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

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