853: A Man of Science

The growth of science often comes in rapid bursts, which follow years, decades, sometimes centuries, of malaise and inertness. So it was that When Jacob Muttermutt came on the scene the pace of scientific discovery had ground to an almost complete halt. Jacob, of course, changed all of that, and this was was only natural.…

848: Remember to Floss!

“Doreen made meatballs this weekend.” The dentist smiled across my chair at the hygienist, who responded exactly as would be expected. “I haven’t had meatballs in ages.” Said the hygienist, reaching for a giant fishhook on a stick. “They were delicious. Doreen has this special little nutmeg powder that she puts in them.” “That sounds…

846: Money, Money, Money

I ain’t got time, but I got money So much so that it ain’t funny Mmmmmmmmmm Money, money money It’s nice to have money, I’ve always had this huge fear of getting hit by a bus, so because I had so much money I bought all of the buses and sent them to the junkyard.…

842: Love On the Brain

Love was the only thing on Warner’s brain as he made his way to his girlfriend’s house for Valentine’s day dinner. Unfortunately he was so absorbed in his romantic fancies that he failed to see the large bull charging towards him. It took him about two and a half minutes to bleed out. When Carla…

841:Robin Hood and The Monk

The oldest surviving written work concerning Robin Hood is a ballad known as Robin Hood and The Monk. It pretty much goes like this. One day Robin Hood decided to go to Mass. He would have taken Little John with him, but they got into a fight, so Robin Hood went alone. While Robin Hood…

829: Fifty Beers From Now

The song “Fifty Years from Now” was fairly popular on Christian Radio when I was a kid. Apparently it was inspired by an off-hand comment overheard in a bow and arrow factory where I’ve done some construction work. We all have to be inspired by something. I am inspired by the fact that “year” and…

828: The Luckiest Galley Slave Alive

Roderick was the luckiest of all galley slaves, and it wasn’t because the callouses on his hands had a tensile strength higher than titanium. It wasn’t particularly lucky to spend twenty-one hours every day rowing, nor was it lucky that the ship on which Roderick caught fire, and that he burned to death while tugging…

825: A Nice Cup of Tea

“How about a nice cup of tea?” Asked Mrs. Sputnik-Putarski. Of course, if Ben had been more versed in historical alliterations he would have realized that, Sputnik being in her name, Mrs. Sputnik-Putarsky was probably a Russian spy, and that the Sputnik was a reference to the famous Sputnik sattelite which had been launched into…