Football is back, and it’s great fun. Three hours of brain melting commercials, punctuated by the occasional brain melting commentary. For those of you who weren’t able to watch the Packers destroy da Bears this afternoon, take comfort in the fact that some things in this world are exactly how they should be. Also, here…
In a burst of ingenuity the International Olympic Commission has decided to abolish physical medals as rewards for contestants, in favor of digital medals. “Until now we’ve literally been on the gold standard. Yuck!” Says International Olympic Commission President Kraut Schlub. “It’s time to move beyond metal, towards a new transitory system for dealing awards.”…
Your Questions Answered; Day 4 The many uses of a baseball bat? –Paul A toothpick for trolls Something to whittle A tool for fending off moose Shortening conversations with the neighbors Kneading bread As a juggling prop Something to fix furniture with Stirring the pot An instrument to to carry while speaking softly a rug…
The signs are obvious. A car pulled over to the side of the road, windows cracked. A pleasant stream gurgling nearby. Look closer and you will be sure to spot an angler, passing a pleasant summer day at his favorite fishing hole. While many people mistakenly view this pass time as an art, the fact…
In the summer of 1953 visitors to Boston’s famous Fenway park found themselves privy to a strange and intriguing spectacle. A strange man in a flowing robe and ancient sandals stood behind home plate, making the important decision which govern the game of baseball. This man was none other than the famous Marcus Aurelius of…
The fastest thing on two wheels is a bicycle ridden by Dina Lorraine Kettlebury of 251 W. Hickory St. Burlington Ohio. The second fastest thing is Jimmy’s motorbike. One would hardly suspect that Dina’s bicycle would be the fastest thing on two wheels, but much credit in this department must go to Dina herself. Indeed,…
Marco gripped the bat tightly, sweat beaded up on his brow as he stared out at the pitchers mound. The pitch. Marco squinted at the ball, and swung. It was a big swing. The bat connected, and the ball flew out of the park. The cover tore off the ball, and it began to burn.…
Cordelia was very good at darts. So good that she had her own dartboard in the basement. When friends came over she would frequently challenge them to a game of darts. Brett should have known this, but he didn’t. “Hey Brett, want to play darts?” Asked Cordelia. Do you think Brett won? Nope. Brett sucked…
Gentlemen, this is a football. Vince Lombardi Gentlemen, I want to impress up you the fact that this is a football. The fact that this is a football is probably one of the most important elements of reality that you will ever deal with. Should you forget it, untold doom will come upon you. Remember…
It was on the day that Cal Brockway hit his 63rd home run that his world changed forever. Cal was the finest athlete Central High had ever seen. Not only was he an an excellent baseball player, but he lettered in football, track and field, swimming, basketball, rugby, soccer and LaCrosse. But on the day…
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