631: The Fastest Thing On Two Wheels

The fastest thing on two wheels is a bicycle ridden by Dina Lorraine Kettlebury of 251 W. Hickory St. Burlington Ohio.

The second fastest thing is Jimmy’s motorbike.

One would hardly suspect that Dina’s bicycle would be the fastest thing on two wheels, but much credit in this department must go to Dina herself. Indeed, the propulsion mechanism for Dina’s Bike is spectacularly normal. Dina herself is spectacularly abnormal.

it all starts at breakfast, when Dina drenches her cereal in half a pint of steroid cream. Afterwards she does leg exercises, hand exercises and spelling exercises. (She rarely excels at the spelling exercises.)

Then she rides her bike. She rides it very fast, but also quietly so the neighbors can’t put in a noise complaint.

The word on the street is that Dina is thinking about switching to bionic legs.

Jimmy, on the other hand, is a paraplegic.

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Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com