The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual events or individuals is purely coincidental, as is any confluence between this story and any other previously published work. I Need Your Cow It’s a quarter after noon I’m up on the dock And I need your cow Picture perfect memories Scattered little grains…
In the begginning there was merely one Sand Crested, Bifurcated Pileated Amplitudinous Wren nesting on Snaggle Grain Beach. Sally Mae noticed it one day while she was swimming with her friends. “Say, isn’t that a Sand Crested Bifurcated Pileated Amplitudinous Wren? Asked Sally Mae. Her friends had no idea. Who pays attention to bird species…
Carter woke up and looked at the clock. It was 7:03, two minutes past breakfast time. Drat. He hated missing breakfast. He rolled over to fo back to sleep. He woke up again at 12:04. Three minutes past lunch. What a waste. He rolled over again. At 7:11 Carter woke up again. Dinner was long…
Little lamb who made thee? Little lamb who ma Prchurchgrubchurherbbrughbrughhumdumggruchstuchalitso r vsivb rskb vsk skhbhrksbkbhkbks Bleggh Bleggh! Arachoo, bleggharoo, hooo! Little lamb who ate thee? Little lamb who ate thee? Bigfoot has eaten thee Little lamb And torn you all to pieces Your bloody carcass is strewn around In tiny bits and pieces Little lamb…
Over the last few years Troll Farms of all shapes and sizes have been popping up around the globe. Although startling reports have emerged about the condition of these farms, little has been done to contain the environmental damage caused by these monstrous aberrations of nature. The noxious fumes and vapors which emanate from these…
After the Israelites left Egypt they got tired of the whole thing where God was leading them around the desert pretty quick. They wanted to worship something they could look at, so they melted down a bunch of earrings and made a golden cow. Moses was up on the mountain talking to God when this…
There once was a man who had a hat And in that hat he had a bat And in that bat there sat a cat And that poor cat recited stats From his cat flat inside the bat And that poor bat she hated stats And when she heard them would say “drat” So cat…
Once upon a time there were three bears, and they stopped by the woods on a snowy evening where two paths diverged. They began to argue about which path would be the most advantageous one to take. “I think we should take the path most travelled.” Said the big bear. “I think we should take…
2022 will unquestionably belong to Taylor Swift, so I have to get my songs in while I still can. Special Thanks to Walt Disney for something or other. A dream is a fish your heart bakes When you cast a sheep In dreams you will chose the heart bake Whatever you fish for you keep…
Rudolph wanted nothing more than to be a normal reindeer. Unfortunately for him, he experienced a physical condition which, although it was not debilitating, set him apart from the other reindeer. While all of the other reindeer had normal brown noses Rudolph’s nose glowed bright red. Perhaps the other reindeer were jealous, or perhaps they…
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