844: The Card Player
“How long have you been playing sheepshead?” “Ba!”
“How long have you been playing sheepshead?” “Ba!”
You thought your life was easy Because you were a cow You tried not to be cheesy While pulling on the plow You kept on being sneezy Where does it put you now? When all the winds are breezy And all the fields are plowed Though you may be quite sleazy You still are just…
Cow is dead. Cow remains dead. We have killed cow. How shall we comfort ourselves? -Neitzsche (paraphrased) Vilhelm was looking for a little fun on his trip to America, but he wasn’t sure where to turn. He had already tried burning man, armed robbery and fentanyl, and wasn’t sure where to turn next. That’s when…
The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual events or individuals is purely coincidental, as is any confluence between this story and any other previously published work. I Need Your Cow It’s a quarter after noon I’m up on the dock And I need your cow Picture perfect memories Scattered little grains…
In the begginning there was merely one Sand Crested, Bifurcated Pileated Amplitudinous Wren nesting on Snaggle Grain Beach. Sally Mae noticed it one day while she was swimming with her friends. “Say, isn’t that a Sand Crested Bifurcated Pileated Amplitudinous Wren? Asked Sally Mae. Her friends had no idea. Who pays attention to bird species…
Carter woke up and looked at the clock. It was 7:03, two minutes past breakfast time. Drat. He hated missing breakfast. He rolled over to fo back to sleep. He woke up again at 12:04. Three minutes past lunch. What a waste. He rolled over again. At 7:11 Carter woke up again. Dinner was long…
Little lamb who made thee? Little lamb who ma Prchurchgrubchurherbbrughbrughhumdumggruchstuchalitso r vsivb rskb vsk skhbhrksbkbhkbks Bleggh Bleggh! Arachoo, bleggharoo, hooo! Little lamb who ate thee? Little lamb who ate thee? Bigfoot has eaten thee Little lamb And torn you all to pieces Your bloody carcass is strewn around In tiny bits and pieces Little lamb…
Over the last few years Troll Farms of all shapes and sizes have been popping up around the globe. Although startling reports have emerged about the condition of these farms, little has been done to contain the environmental damage caused by these monstrous aberrations of nature. The noxious fumes and vapors which emanate from these…
After the Israelites left Egypt they got tired of the whole thing where God was leading them around the desert pretty quick. They wanted to worship something they could look at, so they melted down a bunch of earrings and made a golden cow. Moses was up on the mountain talking to God when this…
There once was a man who had a hat And in that hat he had a bat And in that bat there sat a cat And that poor cat recited stats From his cat flat inside the bat And that poor bat she hated stats And when she heard them would say “drat” So cat…