This is my writer’s block.
If you are a writer, and most of the people reading this have at least dabbled in writing, you will encounter writer’s block at some point or another. At least, that’s what I’ve read a million times. It might be true, or it might not be. If you are struggling with getting words on the page I might have some advice for you, but this is neither the time, nor the place, for advice.
This is the time and place to talk about my writer’s block. It is a block, and it happens to belong to a writer. It measures approximately 8″x4″x5½”. It is uncured red oak which was milled with a band saw blade.
Aside from the general appearance of the wood, oak can be identified by its strongly acidic smell. Although there are many subspecies of oak tree, for lumber purposes these species are generally divided into two categories, red oak and white oak. One would be forgiven for assuming, based on the names, that these two species are differentiated by the color of the wood, but this is not an entirely reliable method.
A better way to differentiate between red oak and white oak is to examine the physical structure of the wood. Both white oak and red oak are ring porous trees, however the pores in white oak are filled with a substance known as tyloses. The existence of this substance makes it more difficult for liquid to penetrate white oak, and is the reason that whiskey is traditionally aged in barrels made from this wood. If you examine the picture below you can clearly see open holes in the ring structure, indicating that my writers block is made from red oak as opposed to white oak.
I am confident that it was milled using a band saw because of the straight lines in the wood which indicate the motion of the saw blade. The lines made by a circular saw would bend in a quarter circle.
I refer to this piece of wood as uncured because it has not undergone the drying process which removes water from the cellular structure of the wood. This process increases the stability of the wood, but it’s not really essential for something as simple as a writer’s block.
Normally this block sits in my basement and collects dog hair. If I ever become a famous writer I will probably put it on my desk. If adoring fans ever come to my office I will swivel around in my high backed chair, glare at them intimidatingly and ask them what they think of my writers block as I light a giant cigar.
High aspirations for this humble block, I know. But we all deserve our little dreams.
Photos by Dumbestblogger
45 thoughts on “303: My Writer’s Block”
If this post does not get you murdered, I don’t know what else will.
LOL! Thanks, I enjoyed that.
Glad to hear it!
Your writer’s block reminds me of my pet rock named, interestingly enough, Rocky. As soon as I find him again I will write a post about him. I hope you will allow me to visit your office and tell your secretaries to let me in.
I look forward to hearing about Rocky. I’ll tell the secretaries to keep an eye out for you.
Oh, thank you. Please do. Rocky disappears for a while and then shows back up again.
Rocks can be like that sometimes.
He may have taken it literally when I told him to “Rock on.”
Your a chip off the old block – white oak I think, judging by the tyloses that permeates your stories.
Why thank you. That’s a very high quality wood.
And, he’s great at storing whiskey?
I was a professional author for more than 30 years writing books and for TV and film, now I am retired. As a professional writer you don’t have a writer’s block, you just write every day 5 to 7 hours. None of my colleagues ever had problems with a writer’s block. Writer’s block seems to me an excuse of unprofessional writers not having the discipline writing every day.
I like your explanations of this oak block.
Have a happy day
The Fab Four of Cley
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Thanks, that lines up pretty well with my estimation of the situation. I’m glad you enjoyed my discussion about the block!
That’s quite a writer’s block you’ve got there – thankfully it isn’t the metaphorical one!
It’s ba solid block.
I used to have one of those but one night I ate a cheese sandwich just before bedtime and in the morning it had just disappeared. That’s when I started writing about my strange dreams of blocks of wood with teleporting abilities.
All’s well that ends well.
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the public image of writer blocks is poor. It is not uncommon for the owners to blame them all the time. Your respect for them is commendable.
Thanks. I do appreciate a good block.
Do you also appreciate the new block editor? I see many bloggers don’t
I’ve never found a need to edit my block, but if I did I would probably just do it in HTML.
A deep concept, but also entirely hilarious, love the underpinning humour.
I am interested in ordering a writer’s block from you. Please send a catalogue with options and prices.
just brilliant! now I want one, preferably mahogany, but I’ll probably settle for pine. depends on what sort of hairy lumber scraps I can find in my basement.
Thanks! I’m going to be putting some up for sale in the near future.
Why does your writers block look different than mine?
It’s purely stylistic. I am sure that they serve exactly the same functional purpose.
Yes that’s probably it.
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This is great But why do you keep this writer’s block. I seen whole books about getting rid of such blocks
Stay well and Laugh
Buy low, sell high. If people are giving advice about how to get rid of these blocks it means that the demand is low, which is the perfect time to stock up on them. It’s basic economics.
You are so smart for the dumbest blogger
I appreciate that.
You’re a tree killer?!
Are you going to paint it? Or anything?
I find nature to be at it’s most inspiring when it’s cut up into little chunks.
This is probably the funniest thing I’ve heard all day. Hanibal 2.0.
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I needed that, thank you, and the one hundred and twenty-one-year-old oak tree outside my bedroom window says hello.
Thank you, and I return the greetings!