656: Screw Billy or A Brief Explanation of American Foreign Policy

To the average observer, foreign policy can be difficult to understanding. For example, the government of France recently recalled its ambassadors from the United States and Australia over a treaty which nullified a contract which the French government had had with the Australian government to make submarines. The uninitiated would see this issue to be tied up in financial issue, the allegation the the French were somehow upset over losing a 66 billion dollar contract which had been in the works for several years with absolutely no warning. That, however, is a false understanding of the situation. Rather than leave money on the table, this deal directly benefits the American military-industrial complex. A fact which should render French critics mollified that money is not a prime motive in this decision.

To illustrate this profoundly complicated situation I have written the following tale.


Everybody knows that Fred is a bully. Especially Sally. Sally lives right next to Fred, and she needs protection. Since I am such a nice guy, I offered to protect Sally. (For a small fee, of course.)

That was when Sally told me that Billy had already offered to protect her. (For a small fee, of course.)

Of course, this was a big problem, because Billy lived a long ways away from Sally (almost as far away from her as I do) and really couldn’t be counted on to protect her well.

“How is Billy protecting you?” I asked.

Sally showed me some pictures of the rocks that Billy said he would give her as soon as she gave him 11 dollars. I could see right away that there was a problem with the rocks. I mean, they were ok, but if you’re really gonna protect yourself you need harder rocks than that.

“If you give me twenty dollars instead of giving Billy eleven dollars I will give you harder rocks,” I said.

I didn’t really care about the twenty dollars, I just wanted to give Sally harder rocks. Sally immediately saw the good sense in what I was saying, and agreed to my deal.

Billy was mad that he didn’t get his eleven dollars.

Screw Billy.


Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

26 thoughts on “656: Screw Billy or A Brief Explanation of American Foreign Policy

  1. Why doesn’t Sally just pay Fred not to bully her? – – and pay him, and pay him, and pay him…

    In a vaugly related side comment——
    My granddaughter can wear an orange shirt to school to show support against bullying. (only on special/announced days)

    Maybe Sally can just wear orange to scare this bully away?

    My granddaughter should wear orange ALL the time. Show support everyday! Show that blasted bully who’s boss!

  2. That’s what we said to France. Screw you. But I can understand the ill-feelings caused…….

    There’s also the other side of the coin. Do i want nuclear submarines being built literally on my back doorstep? No. …….

  3. “Sally showed me some pictures of the rocks that Billy said he would give her as soon as she gave him 11 dollars.”

    Stop it!
    Stop it!
    Stop it!
    Stop making me laugh so hard!

    Note to self:

    “Never read this blog with beer in your mouth; you will lose it.”

    I am running out of beer over you.
    Send aid!
    Send beer!
    Smartly and quickly!

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