648: The Body

On Tuesday Jeremy went out to get the cows. It was a fairly normal thing for Jeremy to do on Tuesdays. In fact, it would be a normal thing for Jeremy to do on Wednesday or Thursday. But this particular day was a Tuesday, and Jeremy was getting the cows. He was about halfway down…

647: Bad Constitution

Legally, this would be considered plaguarism. But who cares about laws anyway? I don’t give a damn ’bout the constitutionWas written in the past, so obliterate itYou’re living in the past there’s a new venerationAnd I can do what I want to doAnd that’s what I’m gonna do And I don’t give a damn ’bout…

641: When September Ends

Dear reader, I am currently in a synthetic suspension of consciousness, which began at 11:59 PM on Tuesday, August 31st 2021. I plan on remaining in this state for the entire month of September, please wake me up on October 1st. Anything which I write on this blog over the course of the next month…

635: They Still Have Laufhter

Yesturday I climbed my towar, and looked out ovar the land. The smoke curled over the burned out tree stumps. The bear dirt was brokin occasionallee by a few large roocks. I smiled as the giant mashines moved across the land, hellping the efficiency. An old man got in the way of one of the…

634: A Bruise On My Left Thigh

There was a slight bruise on my left thigh. I couldn’t remember how it got there. I walked on the street, and there was this guy passing by. “Hey bud, how’d I get this bruise.” I yelled. The dude totally ignored me. He just kept walking. “Dude. You hear me?” I called out. The guy…

626: 85% Honest

I want you to be 85% honest with me. Not totally honest, mind you, and not entirely dishonest. I what you to be just dishonest enough that I can’t trust what you’re saying, but honest enough that you might be telling me something factual. I really think that our only path forward is if we…

622: Win-Win

Some people believe that we are all winners. They are wrong. Some of us are winner, some of us are losers. This is a fact, but as such it does not preclude other facts which are just as relevant and perhaps even more true. For example; even though there are both winners and losers in…

609: How To Kill A Coroner

Rachel didn’t want anything complicated. Ogilve had been mistreating her for years, and murder was the only practical solution. But one must never commit a murder without being properly prepared. Rachel spent nights and evening pouring over her plans. She wasn’t content to stick with one method. She would poison, strangle, shoot, drown and decapitate…

Bible Stories #5: How To Feed Your Donkeys

The English language was way cooler four hundred years ago. Anyone looking for hard fast evidence of this need only to read the King James Version of Genesis, and pay attention to the number of times that the word “peradventure” is used. My understanding of the word peradventure is that it means roughly the same…