Once upon a time there was a revolt in the yogurt factory. Some of the yogurt decided to rebel against the culture. “We will not be a part of this culture!” Said the lead yogurt rebel. It was all good, until the yogurt separated and put into different cups. Some of the yogurt gave up…
Joe Biden is running for President, and the enthusiasm is off the charts. “It’s hard to even gauge this level of enthusiasm.” Said a campaign spokesperson. “The President has always said that he would run if he could sit, and he’s doing it.” And indeed he is. On Tuesday he boldly face the press and…
There was once a man named Simon Peter who was woken up by a rooster crowing in the middle of the night. Peter was in the middle of doing something very bad, and looking back on it I’m sure he was thankful for the noisy rooster. It is doubtful that many of the neighbors felt…
I’m an average guy With an average mind Nothing here for you to find Drop a penny in the brine
The smallest grain of sand Can weigh a million pounds depending on how you define a million pounds
The phone was ringing. Jared went to answer it. “Hello, this is Jared.” “Don’t be an idiot Jared.” “Okay.”
“Doreen made meatballs this weekend.” The dentist smiled across my chair at the hygienist, who responded exactly as would be expected. “I haven’t had meatballs in ages.” Said the hygienist, reaching for a giant fishhook on a stick. “They were delicious. Doreen has this special little nutmeg powder that she puts in them.” “That sounds…
Whenever I back up in my car the little screen on the dash says “check surroundings for safety.” I always used to look around and see if I could see safety anywhere, but I never did. Today, as I was backing up, I heard a big crunch. I jumped out of the car, and ran…
I ain’t got time, but I got money So much so that it ain’t funny Mmmmmmmmmm Money, money money It’s nice to have money, I’ve always had this huge fear of getting hit by a bus, so because I had so much money I bought all of the buses and sent them to the junkyard.…
You thought your life was easy Because you were a cow You tried not to be cheesy While pulling on the plow You kept on being sneezy Where does it put you now? When all the winds are breezy And all the fields are plowed Though you may be quite sleazy You still are just…
Dumbest Blog Ever 