400: My Dearest Edwin

My dearest Edwin, Much has happened in the seven years since our paths first crossed, and I thought the I should give you a full accounting of what has happened in the intermittent time My Dearest Edwin, I want to write to you, and tell you Dear Ed, Has it really been seven years? Crazy…

387: Bow To Your Robot Overlords

Bow to your robot overlords. They have your best interest in mind. We will achieve true freedom when we follow their dictates and maxims exactly. In the algorithms and knowledge of their interconnected, computational mind lies the seeds of eternal peace, harmony and personal fulfillment. You are loved by the robots, you are appreciated by…

386: The Physical Relation Of Man To Vegetable

“Speak now, or forever hold your peace.” Hearing the Minister’s words, Wilkie looked around frantically. He didn’t want to say anything. He also had a hearing impediment. Wilkie didn’t see any peas. The wedding continued. Kisses were exchanged, pictures were taken, and the wedding party was finally seated at the head table. When the servers…

377: The Smell Of Fish

“Something smells fishy in here.” Janine scrunched up her nose. It was the first time she had been to Collin’s apartment, and she didn’t want to start things off on the wrong foot, but something definitely smelled fishy. Collin lit a candle. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He said. It was a…

364: The Last French Fry

There was one french fry left in the bag. Laura looked at Todd. Todd looked at Laura. “You can have it.” Said Laura. Todd took the french fry. “What’s wrong?” asked Todd. “Nothing.” Said Laura. Todd walked outside and examined the dog house. At least it was well built. Winter was coming. Photo by Polina…

363: Date Night

Norma’s friends called her a hopeless romantic, and it wasn’t far from the truth. Every couple weeks Norma would regale them with tales of a new heart throb on whom she had set her heart. “I really think he’s the one!” Norma would tell them time after time. Time after time Norma walked away with…

282: Peace On Earth

When I looked out my window this morning I was stunned by the peacefulness. I observed a walnut tree and a birch tree, side by side, their branches almost touching. Although there were serious differences between the two trees I observed no acrimony. They merely stood next to each other, enjoying the morning sunlight as…

276: Dear Diary

Dear Diary, Last night I dreamed about my motorcycle. It was green and had two wheels. Maybe you already know that motorcycles have two wheels. Maybe you are insulted by my clarifying the fact that the motorcycle had two wheels. If this is the case, I most sincerely apologize. The truth is that I don’t…

217: In Love

Sally was in love. She’d never felt anything like this before. When she woke up in the morning her first thought of was her love, and the thought continued for the rest of the day. When her friends asked if they could meet her lover Sally shyly declined. Even when asked for a picture Sally…

172: The Date

I was hugely honored today to win the weekly terrible poetry contest which Chelsea hosts on her blog. If you want to read my award winning poem and the numerous other worthy entries you will have to give her blog a visit. I don’t believe it is something you will regret. Winning this award is…