504: A Life Of Words

Fyodore Dosteyevsky loved words. You could even say he made a career out of it. First he wrote pages of words, then the pages became chapters. Finally the chapters became books, and people bought the books and read them. “Hey, these are good words,” said somebody or other, and somebody or other agreed. And so…

451: You May Be Using The Term “Orwellian” Wrong. Here’s What George Orwell Was Actually Talking About

To give credit where credit is due, I plagiarized the title of this piece from a recent “USA Today” article. I was instantly impressed by the title’s simultaneous denial and reinforcement of Orwellian thought patterns. After all, what could be more classically Orwellian than having a major cultural institution unilaterally proclaim that society at large…

421: Be A Scrooge

Once upon a time I built houses with a very politically opinionated construction crew. I was subjected to various harangues on issues of public policy and ideology, and became very well acquainted with my co-workers opinion concerning various political leaders. Being as this construction crew operated in the American midwest, most of the opinions I…

374: Magic Eraser

My magic eraser is really quite large I work it with magic, you see? My magic eraser erases a barge And sometimes erases the sea My magic eraser erases the stars And often eradicates tea My magic eraser is “Can it! Can it, Hector! Nobody wants to hear about your stupid magic eraser.” “Did I…

349: A Real Page Turner

Emma was ecstatic the day her first book was published. It had been a lifelong dream of hers. She would sit in coffeeshops, just watching people who were totally absorbed by their books, turning page after page and anxious to find out what happened next. One day the people in the coffee shops would be…

304: The Bible

I have acquired an authentic King James Bible. It was presented to Thomas C. Hutter for Christmas in 1951 by Chaplain and Mrs. S.L. Carpenter. “May God’s blessings be with you.- ‘Mom’ and ‘Chappie’” reads the note inside the front cover. It came complete with a Dennis the Menace cartoon. To be fair, this book…

292: Everybody Loves Hercules

Everybody loves Hercules. He was kind of the Ancient Greek version of Superman. In fact, he’s still popular today. In 1997 the Walt Disney Company made a movie about him, it wasn’t exactly an unparalleled success. It only grossed $58 million in its first two weeks at the box office, falling behind the action movie…