I can see how you would be confused. First I told you that you should get me hamburger, which you got. And I must admit, I was very appreciative of the fact that you got it. But there was a problem, you see. I’m not saying it was your fault, per se, but you didn’t…
I took another lick off of my fudgsicle and stared out at the dry prairie grass. I was hoping to see a prairie dog or something, but all I saw was a bunch of grass, swaying in the wind. I looked at it for another minute or so, and then I felt something dripping onto…
It would only cost a dime. That’s what Rebecca thought as she gazed at the candy on the other side of the glass case. And she had good reason for thinking that. After all, the price tag on the candy said it very clearly: 10 cents. She held the dime between her grubby little fingers,…
Maxine was enjoying her night at the morgue. Not that she was a morbid person or anything, but when one has a job as the night watch at the morgue one may as well make the most of it. At about midnight she sat down in the cafeteria to eat a sandwich. She was about…
Well I walked into the room, and there was Frank. Eating a hamburger. “Hey Frank, why you eatin’ my burger!” I yelled. Frank just kind of grinned, uncomfortable like and pretended to ignore me. But I knew he was listening. “Why you eating my burger, Frank.” I yelled again. This time I got right down…
I had this really big knife, ok? Kind of like a meat cleaver. All I wanted to do was cut the cheese, but it was dull. The knife, not the cheese. So I slammed the knife down on the cheese, but it just sort of smushed it and the cheese all crumbled, but it was…
Lenny opened the cupboard and grabbed another can of SpaghettiOs. These days they made up approximately 93% of his diet. Lenny loved SpaghettiOs. He poured them on a plate, and put it into the microwave. The smell began building. Flecks of saliva began to dribble down Lenny’s chin. He pulled the plate out of the…
So Joseph got shoved in a well, then sold off to Egypt. That all kind of sucked, but Joseph was the sort of guy to make the most of a bad situation, so he did alright until he refused to have sex with the wife of the guy who owned him. That kind of pissed…
Connor ate an apple every day, but now he was down to his last one. “What should I do?” Thought Connor. The scenarios flashed through his mind. He could go to the store and get more apples, he could plant an orchard, he could steal some apples at gunpoint from the neighbor lady who lived…
Okay, time to lay a few ground rules. This is my bag of Cheetos. You can eat dirt. Photo by James Frid on Pexels.com
