448: What’s For Lunch?

Joey cut another piece of cheese, and put it on his sandwich. He opened his mouth and clamped down hard, his taste buds exploded with delicious cheddar cheese, ham, and turkey. Joey devoured the sandwich, and washed it down with a gulp of coffee. What a delicious lunch! Up until now, his day had gone…

444: Good Urine

Virginia was two years sober, and she had finally figured out the perfect little side hustle. She would sell her urine. Drug users of all stripes were constantly on the lookout for good urine. She was excited to get into business. She printed up a couple hundred business cards which she distributed to local drug…

443: Breakfast at Sunrise

The sun was rising over Burtonsville Missouri, and Elizabeth Chandlerwick was eating breakfast at the local diner. As with most morning, Elizabeth was eating bacon and eggs. The eggs were over medium. “How do you like them eggs?” Asked Chet. Elizabeth ignored him, and turned the page on the Wall Street Journal. Chet owned the…

438: Space Donuts

When we first set off in our spaceship there were three of us; Abagail Warner, Jospeh Putney, and myself. We’d been traveling for about five earth day (time get sort of funny out here, but we still refer to earth based time segments, because it’s easier that way) when we heard a funny sound coming…

434: The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

On July 6th, 1928, a jeweler from Missouri successfully demonstrated a machine which he had been perfecting for several years, one that revolutionize culinary arts all around the world. On that day, Otto Rohwedder sliced bread. With a machine. As groundbreaking and revolutionary as Mr. Rohwedder’s invention would prove to be, it would leave future…

433: My Cup Of Tea

Jennifer and Gwendolyn were having a pleasant afternoon. A light rain fell against the window as they sipped on tea and gossiped about neighborhood affairs. Did you hear about Jonathon Bolshien? Asked Jennifer. Gwendolyn was looking out the window, she had no idea what Jennifer was talking about. She looked down at her cup of…

432: The Hotdog Eater

The thing about dreams is that sometimes they get stuck in your throat. Especially if your name is Brian, and your dream is to be a world champion hotdog eater. Brian had already eaten nineteen hotdogs. Most of them slid down easily, the twentieth hotdog got stuck in his throat. He almost choked. He flailed…

427: Fun With Animals

Margery was distracted by a movement in the back yard. That’s why she put too much food in the fish tank. At least, that’s what she explained to Chloe. Chloe had been on a trip for three weeks, and had only wanted Margery to feed the fish while she was away. It shouldn’t have been…

423: Christmas Ham

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. Luke 2:14 The Interplanetary Algorithm For Continuous Alignment of Functional Systems had been operating continuously for 9,537 years, but for some reason it had never encountered this particular line of code before. What was the meaning of it? Why had it…

416: Peeling The Apple

“It’s like an apple. You peel one layer back, and there’s another layer underneath it. The more layers you peel off, the more layers you uncover. There’s a never ending complexity to it which is quite beautiful.” “By apple, don’t you mean onion?” “No. When I say apple I mean apple.” “But apples don’t have…