652: The Squid’s Teeth

The Squid was jealous of the octopus’s teeth, so he went to the dentist. “Can you give me teeth like the octopus?” asked the Squid. The dentist stroked her chin. “Maybe.” She said. “But it will cost you $1,300.” The Squid was perplexed. Money is not something which marine animals are intimately aware of. “How…

642: The Serenity of A Blank Page

“There is something about the serenity of a blank page that is absolutely breathtaking.” Thought Megan, as she stared down at her empty sheet of paper. Words just weren’t coming to her this evening. “And even if they did,” she mused, “I could never write anything as lovely as this blank she of paper.” It…

627: My Burger

Well I walked into the room, and there was Frank. Eating a hamburger. “Hey Frank, why you eatin’ my burger!” I yelled. Frank just kind of grinned, uncomfortable like and pretended to ignore me. But I knew he was listening. “Why you eating my burger, Frank.” I yelled again. This time I got right down…

589: My Pillowcase

Amelia was very dissatisfied with her pillowcase. “It’s so soft!” She complained. “It hardly keeps the pillow safe at all! What’s the point of a pillowcase that doesn’t protect the pillow?” She searched and searched, but try as she might, she couldn’t find a satisfactory pillowcase. “I will make one myself!” Said Amelia. And so…

554: Johny Can Read

Everybody loves Johnny. Look at all of the things he can do! Johnny can eat! Johny can walk! Johnny can ride a bike! Johnny can fly a kite! Johnny can do jumping jacks! Johnny can color with a crayon! Johny can read! Oh, no! Somebody killed Johnny! Photo by Bianca Gasparoto on Pexels.com

532: Fresh Ideas

Every Tuesday the idea store gets a fresh shipment of ideas, and Carlos puts a sign in the front window. “Fresh Ideas, $2 A Dozen!” Reads the sign. All day, customers flood the store, putting fresh ideas into their carts, and buying them up by the dozen. It’s kind of exciting to see people grapple…

516: Just Another Day Job

Al was a gangster. That might sound exciting to you, but when it comes down to it being a gangster is just like having any other job. Granted, interesting things happen occasionally, but most of the time it’s just a boring day job, filled with tedious paperwork and dull meetings. It was during one of…

505: Salad Dressing

What would you like on your salad? Bleu cheese. Don’t have it. Ranch? Don’t have it. Thousand Island? Sorry. While what do you have. We have a balsamic vinaigrette, poppyseed and a used rubber tire salad dressing. Used rubber tire? Very good. No, stop! That’s not what I wanted. Waiter! come back! Photo by Enric…

481: The Future Of Radio

I listened to a song on the radio today. Well, actually it was more like half a song. Every other word or so had been removed. I assume that the absent words had been deemed inappropriate for broadcast media. I came to the realization that this song must have achieved popularity on the internet, where…

465: How To Be A Cool Kid

I just want to be cool, but I’m not sure how to do it. I decided to make a list. Here’s how to be a cool kid. Wear your hat backwards Stick out your bottom lip Get piercings get a tattoo Eat String cheese Look bored Get a cool haircut Buy cool clothes Play badminton…