I had this really big knife, ok? Kind of like a meat cleaver. All I wanted to do was cut the cheese, but it was dull. The knife, not the cheese. So I slammed the knife down on the cheese, but it just sort of smushed it and the cheese all crumbled, but it was…
Okay, time to lay a few ground rules. This is my bag of Cheetos. You can eat dirt. Photo by James Frid on Pexels.com
“I’m hungry.” Said Millicent. “Find something to eat.” Said Millicent’s Mom. Millicent flew to town and ate several people who were strolling on the sidewalk. There are perks to being a dragon. Photo by Valeria Boltneva on Pexels.com
Erica wanted to do something for her country. Everything was so messed up! The things that should have been green were purple, and the things that should have been purple were green. Clearly the only way to address this issue was to join the government! So Erica ran for congress. “I will make the green…
What would you like on your salad? Bleu cheese. Don’t have it. Ranch? Don’t have it. Thousand Island? Sorry. While what do you have. We have a balsamic vinaigrette, poppyseed and a used rubber tire salad dressing. Used rubber tire? Very good. No, stop! That’s not what I wanted. Waiter! come back! Photo by Enric…
On July 6th, 1928, a jeweler from Missouri successfully demonstrated a machine which he had been perfecting for several years, one that revolutionize culinary arts all around the world. On that day, Otto Rohwedder sliced bread. With a machine. As groundbreaking and revolutionary as Mr. Rohwedder’s invention would prove to be, it would leave future…
Renatta woke up with a strange feeling. Everything was warm and buttery. She stretched. This did not feel like her bed. It was softer, and there wasn’t very much support. She sunk deeper into whatever she was laying on. It really did feel buttery. She tried to remember what had happened the night before. Had…
“The answer has always been squash.” Agatha peered down her glasses at a timid and perturbed butler, beckoning him away with a slight wave of her pinky. As he retreated she took a slight sip of wine. The wine tasted good to her, but beyond that she had absolutely no capacity to explain its complex…
We need more candles! Esteban’s voice boomed throughout the house, alerting all inhabitants of the desperate need for increased artificial light. Winnifred creased her brow. Why was Esteban shouting about candles right now? It was the middle of the day. No matter, she shuffled off toward the pantry and grabbed an armload of candles, then…
4 cups of butter 2 tbsp baking powder 1 cup of butter 1 cup of buttermilk Veronica squinted at the recipe. Her grandmother had been an excellent cook. She was sure she had seen her make biscuits. She scoured her memory for a memory, but couldn’t find it. No matter, it was a simple recipe,…
