641: When September Ends

Dear reader, I am currently in a synthetic suspension of consciousness, which began at 11:59 PM on Tuesday, August 31st 2021. I plan on remaining in this state for the entire month of September, please wake me up on October 1st. Anything which I write on this blog over the course of the next month…

636: A Brain Is Like A Hammer

Something I’ve been noticing lately is how many innerlectuals there seems to be, just crawling out of the woodwork. It seem like you can hardly turn a corner without bumping into two or three of them, all smart and talkin bout how they know things in their heads and stuff. Now that’s all well and…

458: The Scatterbrain

Marie was so scatterbrained! She couldn’t focus on anything for more than a couple seconds. By the time she was finished looking at the petunias, she would forget that she had to look at the roses too. One day she was taking a bath and, this is embarrassing, she forgot to scrub under her fingernails.…

362: The Man With Three Brains

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Stephen A. Manly was the smartest man in the entire world. For a while that was enough. But after he had completed a six week run on Jeopardy that Stephen decided to make some changes. “I’m just too smart for my brain.” He told his wife, Gloryanne. “I…

239: Proper Inter-Cranial Hygiene

Olive removed the screws from her head, and gently lifted off the top portion of her skull. She stepped into the tub and tilted her head back into the warm water, smiling as the water flowed into the crevices in her brain. Olive felt sorry for people who had lived when this activity had been…