583: Next Stop, Lincoln!

“Next stop, Lincoln!” The voice over the PA system was relatively crisp, considering the overall squalor of the traveling compartment. Lionel grabbed his bag, and headed for the exit. A couple people were already in front of him. The door opened, and they glanced the ground whizzing past thirty-thousand feet below. Lionel clutched his stomach…

492: Sorry About Your Geraniums

Dear Neighbor, Sorry about your geraniums. It’s one of the side effects of having a private jet. Sometimes the jet gets a little carried away, and crushes some geraniums. Of course, I would never take any responsibility for such an incident myself. It’s either the jet’s fault, or the jet driver’s fault. (I know there’s…

466: We Are All Going To Die

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.” The voice came crisp and clear over the intercom. “It is my duty to inform you that we are all going to die.” “Well this is a rum way to go,” thought Gerrold Westback, “but at least I won’t have to get my luggage out of the…

251: Mia’s Hair

We haven’t even begun to discuss Mia’s hair. Why should we be discussing Mia’s hair? You ask. Isn’t it a slightly personal subject? True. But if we ignored the obvious issues and ramifications which surrounded Mia’s hair we would be doing the world a great disservice. You see, Mia’s hair is big. Very big. Her…