584: A Cup Of Sugar

You must have been asleep when I rang your doorbell yesterday morning. I can’t say that I blame you, I mean, after all it was quarter of six. Some respectable people are still asleep at quarter of six, or so I am told. Anyway, I rang several times, and then I pounded on the door…

572: Red Herrings

Kelsi ran a high end fish shop over on the east end of town. All of the fish was particularly high quality, especially the smoked salmon. Customers came from near and far for the poached trout, shellfish and pollock. Kelsi did have some strange idiosyncrasies. Every morning she washed the floor with fresh seawater and…

546: Strawberry Cheesecake

The most important thing in Annalise’s life was cheesecake. To be fair, it’s hard to imagine anything being more important than cheesecake, but Annalise had a way of taking this to extremes. One day, as she was swerving down the interstate she saw a cheesecake laying in the middle of the road. She immediately slammed…

542: How To Steal A Truck

Tony wanted a truck. Unfortunately, he didn’t have any money. He went out in the woods, and tried to make one out of sticks and things, but it didn’t work. “I’ve got an idea,” Said Tony’s friend Bobby. “Let’s steal a truck.” The obvious economical advantages of this suggestion could not be overlooked, but the…

533: My Ten Favorite Investment Properties

I love investing in real estate! I have so many great investment properties that it’s hard to pick favorites, but here are some good ones. A high class condo on the dark side of the moon; real estate has been moving kind of slow in this market recently, but I’m a firm believer in the…

531: For The Want Of Cheese

Winston Q. McDonald wanted cheese. Cheese is not an abnormal thing to want, but in Winston’s case it was hard to get. He had been born on the plantet Xutportralex in the year 22b671, so obviously dairy products were entirely out of the question due to great cow blight in 21a639. “One way or another…

501: Half-Price Candy

It cost one dollar, instead of two dollars. Why was that? I don’t know. Hmm, that’s interesting. It’s a good deal, that’s what it is. Ok, whatever you say. Why buy a candy bar for half price, when you can pay full price? That’s an interesting philosophical question. A damn good point, that’s what it…

493: Waiting

“You will find them out back, gathering firewood.” I went out back. Nobody was there. I looked behind a tree. There was a root. I looked behind a boulder. There was a rock. I sat down on the rock, and waited. As I waited, the sun set. It was very beautiful. I spent a long…

384: There’s Something Wrong With My Shoe

“There’s something wrong with my shoe.” “Blast it! Of course there’s something wring with your shoe!” “What do you mean?” “Just get it fixed already, and don’t bother about what I mean.” “I’m trying.” “Try harder.” “No, I mean, I’m really trying. Honestly.” “Honestly, fonestly. As soon as we get on the road you give…

379: I’m Not Buying It!

“I’m not buying it!” Alicia put down the giant pizza cutter, and glared at the store manager. $32 was too much to spend on a pizza cutter. “I’m just the messenger,” the store manager replied. Throwing up her hands. Alicia thought it was entirely outrageous. She marched down the street. At the next store she…