724: Pinochle and The Fish

And there was a puppet maker named Gelato, who had neither friends nor family and lived by himself in a hut by the side of the sea. And in the mornings he would cast his net into the sea, and draw fish out of it, and he would eat the fish. “I am tired of…

719: Three Dyslexics

Special thanks to Clyde Herrin for providing today’s opening line. Clyde has been a long time reader of this blog, and I greatly appreciate his support, and the interesting comments he leaves! He really set the bar for today’s story! Three dyslexics walked into a bra. I mean six diesels walked into a tree. Er,…

691: Eleven is Meaningless

On Christmas day in 1914 an unofficial truce occurred between German and French soldiers fighting on the Western front in France. For one day they set aside hostilities and shared Christmas, bound by the common ties of Western culture and humanity that held them together. This story is often trotted out as a heartwarming and…

653: Common Scents

In January of 1776 Thomasina Pain, a housewife from Pennsylvania, published a treatise that would shake the world to its foundation, and cause individuals all over to question the very foundations upon which society was based. Rather than deal with the outgrowth of societal imbalance, Thomasina chose to go to the very source, and identify…

647: Bad Constitution

Legally, this would be considered plaguarism. But who cares about laws anyway? I don’t give a damn ’bout the constitutionWas written in the past, so obliterate itYou’re living in the past there’s a new venerationAnd I can do what I want to doAnd that’s what I’m gonna do And I don’t give a damn ’bout…

634: A Bruise On My Left Thigh

There was a slight bruise on my left thigh. I couldn’t remember how it got there. I walked on the street, and there was this guy passing by. “Hey bud, how’d I get this bruise.” I yelled. The dude totally ignored me. He just kept walking. “Dude. You hear me?” I called out. The guy…

628: The Seven Forms Of Spiration

Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration. -Thomas Edison Ironically, Edison’s quote is now used almost entirely for inspiration, even though it only accounts for 1% of his formula. In reality, there are seven forms of spiration that run throughout society. Spiriation itself means, “to breathe.” It is the act of sustaining the spirit of…

625: The Big Hit

Marco gripped the bat tightly, sweat beaded up on his brow as he stared out at the pitchers mound. The pitch. Marco squinted at the ball, and swung. It was a big swing. The bat connected, and the ball flew out of the park. The cover tore off the ball, and it began to burn.…

Bible Stories #7: A Trip With A Mummy

So Joseph brought all of his family down to Egypt, but his dad was really old and died pretty soon after he got there. So his kids got him embalmed, and then carried his body back up to their old stomping grounds, then headed back to Egypt to spend a couple hundred years in slavery.…