815: Light

This past summer my brother mentioned to me that an old friend of ours, who was back in town after serving in the armed forces, wanted to play chess. I was excited to catch up with him, and hear about his life. A couple weeks later, before we had a chance to meet up, I…

Bible Stories #28: Three years in the nude

One day while Isaiah was prophesying God told him to take off all of his clothes and walk around buck naked. Being the obedient individual that he was Isaiah stripped and kept on preaching. After three years in the nude Isaiah told everyone that they were totally screwed. In fact, that’s why he hadn’t been…

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Bible Stories #25: He That Pisseth Against the Wall

Today we return to what has become a popular, and regularly covered subject on this blog: the topic of urination in the Biblical narrative. Depending on which sources you choose to believe, the idiom “covering his feet” which is used multiple times in the King James Bible either refers to urination or defecation. My general…

Bible Stories #24: The Priests of Nob

David was fleeing from Saul, and came to a place called Nob. There was priest named Ahimelech there, and David went to meet him. “What you doing, bro?” Asked Ahimelech. “The King sent me on a special mission.” Said David. “Sure, I buy that.” Said Ahimelech. “Do you have any food?” Asked David. “We only…

Bible Stories #24: Hands Off

So the Israelites were fighting the Philistines, and things weren’t going so great. Hophni and Phinehas had a great idea. “Why don’t we send the ark of the covenant into battle? And so they did. It didn’t help matters. The Philistine’s killed thirty thousand Israelite soldiers, including the bright boys Hophni and Phinehas who had…

Bible Stories #23: Asking For A Bramble

Gideon is mostly famous for putting out fleeces in the dew and watching his soldiers drink water, but after he died there was a bit of a power vacuum in the land of Israel. Gideon’s son Abimelech decided to step into the void, and convinced a bunch of his relatives that he was the man…

Bible Stories #22: The Other Side Of The River

Ostensibly the Jewish people in biblical times were divided into twelve tribes, each tribe composed of the descendents of one of Jacob’s twelve sons. The hitch in this is that Joseph’s two sons, Manasseh and Ephraim, each sort of got their own tribe. So in reality it seems that there were more like thirteen tribes,…

Bible Stories #21: The Burial of Moses

Once, when the Israelites were wandering around in the desert, they got thirsty and came to Moses to complain that they didn’t have water. Moses asked God what he should do about it, and God told him that water would come from a rock if he talked to it. So Moses took his staff and…

Bible Stories #20: The Man With The Loose Shoe

The literal meaning of Deuteronomy is “second law.” Of course, the book didn’t carry this name until around the 14th century A.D. My understanding is that the original Hebrew name can roughly be translated as “here are some words.” Maybe the translators of the Bible thought that Deuteronomy sounded cooler. The idea behind calling it…