54: Cooking Up A Conversation

Mix people and food together and conversation often comes out the other end. Like grinding up meat in a grinder the process can be messy and painful. If blood becomes visible while you are attempting to make conversation take a step back, gather your thoughts and do yoga, or whatever shit cools you down. If…

52: Recipe for Candy Cane Syrup

Gather: 12 Candy Canes 3 Cinnamon Sticks 1 cup Fruit Cake 1 cup Egg Nogg 1 tablespoon Evergreen Needles Grind evergreen needles into fine powder. Mix ingredients on stove and place on low heat. Simmer for 15 minutes. Serve and enjoy. Instant holiday favorite.

50: Elisabeth and the Sentient Refrigerator

Elisabeth hit the the snooze button and rolled over for a few more minutes of bliss. Her slumber was interrupted by a drawling monotone from the kitchen. “Good morning, Elisabeth, you have unused leftovers in your fridge, including lasagna, asparagus, shepherds pie and stromboli.  Based on the food you have consumed over the past five…

44: Recipe for Caveman Bread

If you really want to make caveman bread stop reading this and randomly start doing things until you create something bread-like. If you want to cheat here are a couple pointers. You are woken one morning with the absurd news that Caribou are nibbling at the croquet hoops. You rush out of your cave and…

41: Vince Lombardi and a Recipe for Success

One of Vince Lombardi’s favorite leisure activities was reading cookbooks. Sitting in his favorite chair he would leaf through the newest cookbook, excitedly absorbing the recipes. When he came across one that struck his fancy he would shout out to his wife “Marie, we should make this!” Vince didn’t cook. Marie didn’t love the kitchen…