722: Why I Poked A Hole In It.

Special thanks to the indomitable Herb for providing today’s opening line. Herb is a Colorado cowboy from Shawano with a fantastic sense of humor. I honestly can’t say enough good things about him, but you can get to know him yourself by reading his blog. “And that’s why I poked a hole in it, your…

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721: The Crooked Lampshade

Special thanks to Goldie for providing today’s opening line. Goldie writes interesting short stories and thought provoking essays. If you’re not reading Goldie’s blog you are seriously missing out. (I’m looking at you, North Korea.)  “She glanced at the crooked lampshade…” “You’re doing it again.” “Doing what?” “Reading aloud.” “Oh, sorry.” Natasha sighed, and returned…

 720:____________________________________________________

Special thanks to Jim for providing today’s opening line. Jim’s impressive daily blog is a great resource for learning about Pennsylvania, interesting statistics and Dan Ariely. He’s also an impressively consistent commenter, and an accounting professor at Villanova. ____________________________________________________ A steady drone was coming over the receiver from Hortonville. One of the perks of being…

719: Three Dyslexics

Special thanks to Clyde Herrin for providing today’s opening line. Clyde has been a long time reader of this blog, and I greatly appreciate his support, and the interesting comments he leaves! He really set the bar for today’s story! Three dyslexics walked into a bra. I mean six diesels walked into a tree. Er,…

716: You Just Can’t Redo a Funeral

Special Thanks to Benjamin for providing today’s opening line. Benjamin is a fantastic individual and blogger. He has been working hard over the last several weeks to care for his wife, who suffered a serious stroke. I am sure that any prayers and emotional support you can send their way would be greatly appreciated.  You…

715: Give Me A Line!

Once there was a man who went fishing, but he ran out of line. So he asked a stranger who was walking down the road to give him some line. The stronger gave him a line, but it was a very strange line. The man used it anyway, and caught a very big fish. I…

714: Best Books of 2021

Another year has come and gone, and I read a few more books. The thing about me and books is that I have absolutely no taste when it comes to literature, so I pretty much just read whatever happens to be within an easy arms reach. As a result I end up reading a strange…

678: 10 Ways To Fix Stupid

It has often been said that you can’t fix stupid. As the maxim goes; repeat something enough times and everyone will believe it. The fact, however, is that there are many ways to fix stupid. Here are a few. Band-aids Excessive flattery Prison Chewy vitamins Armchair quarterbacking Currency manipulation Hair plugs Outsourcing to China Friends…

671: Hubert Goes To China

Hubert Horatio Hifflepowder was a renowned world traveller. You might even call him a genuine cosmopolitan. Ask him where he had travelled and Hubert would sniff his nose in your general direction. “More like where haven’t I travelled!” Sneered Hubert. One of the places that Hubert had not travelled was the Vatican City. Well, at…

667: Lean, Mean Grilling Machine

A song for my friend Jack. Lean, Mean Grilling Machine He’s a lean, mean grilling machineEats skinless chicken, brown rice & greensAnd he always fills his plate with at least five beansYeah he likes to hang out at the vitamin shoppeYou know the legend of whom I talkPicks up a guitar and he starts to…