819: Letter to An Idiot

Dear Kevin,

We would like to thank you for you’re interest in our open position as company manager. Your long years of service to this organization have not gone unnoticed, and your unabashed penchant for self-advancement has give you many of the qualifications which we would generally look for in fulfilling this role. Traditionally our managers have been ruthless, power hungry narcissists bordering on the psychopathic. It sounds harsh, but that’s just what it take to get the job done. You seem to have all of these attributes in abundance, which is why you deserve consideration for this position.

However, we do find some concerning signs. Our biggest reservation in giving you this job is that you actually seem to want it. To be clear, this job is almost impossible, does not come with a pay raise and will make almost everyone hate you. Yes, it will make you feel powerful for a moment or two, but within two years you will be forced to resign in disgrace, only to be trotted out as a has-been and a laughingstock for the rest of your life.

Sure, somebody’s got to do it, but anyone who actually wants it clearly demonstrates that they lack the mental capacity to properly fulfill this job. The only people remotely able to perform this work are smart enough to realize that the job really sucks. Apparently you haven’t realized that yet, which given your years of service seem almost impossible.

While we applaud your enthusiasm, your blithe ignorance to the demands of this work forces us to question your fitness for it.

You honestly must be an idiot.


Photo by Roman Koval on Pexels.com


16 thoughts on “819: Letter to An Idiot

  1. It doesn’t sound like being an idiot is a disadvantage to this job, in fact it seems a requirement. Therefore, the question is, what do they have against Kevin? My guess is someone has an idiot son they want to give the job to instead.

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