Bible Stories #3: A Delicate Operation

First comes loves
Then comes marriage
Then comes baby in a baby carriage

It wasn’t enough for Jacob to marry just one cousin, he had to marry two cousins.

Then came the babies. Jacob had a lot of boys, and a girl named Dinah. Apparently Dinah was a bit of a looker, at least that’s what Shechem thought. Shechem was a local boy, who was pretty well connected, but that didn’t make him very popular with the family.

So when word got out that Shechem had slept with Dinah he knew he’s need to do a little damage control. He went all nice and sympathetic to Jacob and apologized, and that part was ok.

Then he had to deal with the brothers.

Dinah’s brothers weren’t so nice and sympathetic, but they promised Shechem that if he and all of the men in his town performed a rather delicate surgical operation on a certain part of the body everything would be hunky dory.

What’s a boy to do?

He told all the guys in town get the surgical operation, um, you know, down there. Since Shechem carried some weight around town everybody agreed.

While all the guys in town were laid up recovering from surgery Dinah’s brothers attacked the place, and killed them.

“You guys shouldn’t have done that.” Said Jacob, “It’s not gonna be very popular politically.”

“What were we supposed to do?” Said The brothers. “He slept with our sister.”

Photo by Alexandr Podvalny on


15 thoughts on “Bible Stories #3: A Delicate Operation

  1. “There are advantages to being a goy, a part of the larger goyim nation (or at least acting goyish)”
    “oy vey! Name one”
    “The Goyim get to keep their ‘bits’ in their entirety, i.e., ‘Natural State’.”’
    “Anything else”
    “I’ll let you know Schmuck”
    “toda raba” (תודה רבה)

    Your posts are really bringing me ‘up to snuff’ on my bible studies.

    Repost: Sarah is visited by Jesus Christ

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