510: Hands Apart America

In 1986 Americans from coast to coast linked hands in an effort to form a continuous chain across the United states. Today, a new social distancing campaign is aiming to teach children the importance of never touching at all.

Hands Apart America is encouraging American children to maintain their social distances. “The goal is complete separation and isolation.” Explains Kenny Kraits, the organizer of the campaign. “No touching, no seeing, no hearing. In the past we emphasized the power of community, now we are trying to emphasize the imparetive of complete and utter separation.” Explains Kraits. “We’ve been told since we were children that what unites us is greater than what divides us, the implicit lesson in that statement is that that’s a good thing. Come to find out, we actually need to be divided.”

In an effort to focus on divisions, Hands Apart America is making an effort to highlight divisive issues among young Americans. “Older Americans often hate each other for their political beliefs,” says Kraits, “We’re trying to get younger people to behave the same way. Kids generally like each other, and this is a problem.”

But it’s not all negative from Kraits perspective. One extremely positive development is the state of the modern entertainment industry. “Kids can sit inside all day and have fun without having any human interaction, so that’s pretty exciting” He says.

Kraits has absolutely no concern about the lack of exercise that kids get with this lifestyle. “Realistically, the less exercise kids get the more cranky and argumentative they become. They become so annoying and difficult to be around that even other kids don’t want to be around them, which is absolutely fantastic!”

Kraits faces an uphill battle in his struggle to bring isolation and loneliness to all American children, but it’s a battle that must be won.

Our future depends on it.


Photo by Tom Leishman on Pexels.com

37 thoughts on “510: Hands Apart America

  1. This shouldn’t be limited to just children. I’d like to see all adults separate from each other, also. That way, if someone takes their mask off, nobody will know, so nobody will get into any trouble.

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