462: The Grain Doctor

Some people compared him to Victor Frankenstein: an eccentric, but highly motivated scientist with a passion for reanimating deceased organism. But at some point the comparisons ceased to be applicable. Whereas Frankenstein had reanimated human corpses, Mike Walker applied his scientific prowess to much simpler organisms.

Walker had a passion for bringing grains back to life. What a useless hobby, you might think. After all, grains are pretty good at reanimating themselves. Drop a piece of corn the ground and sprinkle a little bit of water on it and, bam, it’s growing into a brand new corn stock before you can blink an eye.

But Mike Walker was as visionary as he was gifted. He looked at the millions of tons of food wasted every year across the globe, and he had an idea. What if he could reanimate grain after it had been turned into food? By literally bringing the food back to life he could eliminate food waste from the planet.

Walker set to work in his lab, and his initial finding were extremely hopeful. Soon he was surrounded by dancing loaves of bread, walking spaghetti, and singing cheerios.

This really could be going somewhere. Thought Mike one night as he turned off the light and went home.

The next morning he turned on the light, and froze in horror.

The cheerios lay scattered across the lab, lifeless.

To this day they have not found the cereal killer.


Photo by rehan verma on Pexels.com

22 thoughts on “462: The Grain Doctor

  1. At the bottom of the page where it says “More on WordPress.com” One site was doing a review of Frankenstein and the other site was for an Ag Book Club. Not the “Best Puns Ever” site. The algorithm probably knew you can’t beat this for top-notch entertainment.

  2. Great one, never saw it coming til it slapped me in the face!

    Regarding the part where:
    “Soon he was surrounded by dancing loaves of bread, walking spaghetti, and singing cheerios.”

    There is literally video of this phenomenon that my kids used to love to watch repeatedly. I will paste the link below for your edification.

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