434: The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

On July 6th, 1928, a jeweler from Missouri successfully demonstrated a machine which he had been perfecting for several years, one that revolutionize culinary arts all around the world. On that day, Otto Rohwedder sliced bread.

With a machine.

As groundbreaking and revolutionary as Mr. Rohwedder’s invention would prove to be, it would leave future inventors in a very difficult place. For almost a century now creative minds the world over have been hailing their respective inventions as “the best thing since sliced bread.” Sadly, no consensus has been reached on which creation actually deserves this title, leading to the inevitable conclusion that perhaps none of them do.

But hope springs eternal. There is a simple solution for those frustrated individuals who wish to achieve a level of greatness comparable to Mr. Rohwedder. It may be impossible to make something better than sliced bread, but that doesn’t mean that Rohwedder’s achievements cannot be imitated.

If you wish to imitate Mr. Rohwedder’s brilliance, simply follow these instructions the next time you bring home a loaf of bread: Carefully take the loaf out of the bag, and lay the pieces on your counter. Apply a generous layer of Elmer’s glue to each slice. Place the slices back together, and put the loaf back in the bag. At the proper time, take the loaf back out of the bag, and re-slice it.

If you follow these directions precisely you will be responsible for creating the best thing since sliced bread.


Photo by hermaion on Pexels.com

17 thoughts on “434: The Best Thing Since Sliced Bread

  1. Your wisdom is only surpassed by your ingenuity. I do have a technical question, however. Is Elmer’s the only brand of glue you can use? Can you, for instance, use LePage’s for French Bread?

  2. I agree (sort of) with Herb and the type of glue. Flour and water create a paste so just use water. Then when you slice the loaf the result could well exceed the brilliance of sliced bread. It’s so easy: just throw the original slices into the sink and turn on the tap (faucet).

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