411: An Interview With Prince Karls

The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to individuals or events, real or imagined, is entirely coincidental and a fabrication of the readers imagination.


An Interview With Prince Karls

It was a huge honor to be able to sit down with the illustrious Prince Karls, Crown prince of United Koronatio, for a revealing and fascinating interview. I hope that you find yourself as edified and enlightened by this interview as I was.


Dumbestblogger: First off, let me say that it’s a huge honor to be able to talk with you.

Prince Karls: Thank you.

Dumbestblogger: It can’t be easy to be a leader in these difficult times, and your sacrifices are truly commendable.

Prince Karls: It’s true that I do have a rather difficult life.

Dumbestblogger: How has 2020 effected your country?

Prince Karls: It’s really been a very positive year. The data indicates that global emissions are down almost seven percent this year, which is extraordinarily good. I’m very hopeful that the positive developments which have been accomplished this year will lead to further positive developments down the road. To that end I am starting a global task force to reimagine the world as a global Utopia operated by elite bureaucrats who will be tasked with micromanaging the daily lives of people all around the globe.

Dumbestblogger: That’s very interesting. You say that 2020 has been a very positive year, but a lot of people would disagree with you on that. Do you think it’s possible that you are out of touch in that assessment?

Prince Karls: On the contrary, I think it’s the global population that’s out of touch. We need to be cognizant of the fact that minor inconveniences should not outweigh positive, material gains. That’s something that a lot of knee-jerk reactions to these positive developments fail to see.

Dumbestblogger: To be fair, a lot of people do seem to be legitimately suffering right now. Huge numbers of people are dying, suicide rates are spiking, domestic violence rates are sky high, poverty and homelessness are growing rapidly.

Prince Karls: Was there a question in there?

Dumbestblogger: In light of all of the legitimate issues people are facing, is it right to categorize their problems as minor inconveniences?

Prince Karls: I think so, yes. We definitely need to address global population and pollution issues. It might not be fun, but it’s what we need to do. In a small way, 2020 has given us the chance to address both. On a personal level death is always sad, but when looked at from the broader view it is clear that we are actually saving money on healthcare, since we no longer have to be concerned about many of the individuals who were positioned to be a drain on the system. The reality is that 2020 has given us a snapshot of what progress looks like, and it’s very exciting.

Dumbestblogger: I see your point. One last question; it has recently been revealed that your brother has maintained close ties to a serial rapist and pedophile…

Prince Karls: Let me stop you right there. I’m honestly offended that you would ask about that. I have an agreement with the press that stipulates that my personal life will be free from heinous muckraking. The very fact that you would bring up the issue shows an appalling lack of respect and dignity on your part. I will not let my good name be dragged down by rude, impertinent and selfish journalists angling for an explosive story.

Dumbestblogger: I can certainly appreciate that perspective, and I’m sorry that I offended you. Well that just about wraps it up on my end. Maybe we can do this again sometime.

Prince Karls: I have absolutely no interest in that whatsoever.


Photo by Andrew Wilus on Pexels.com

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