Hello, and welcome to todays class: Cynicism 101. This class will help you become a jaded and bitter individual who distrusts everything. If you would like to develop a more optimistic outlook on life you are definitely in the wrong class. Please leave immediately.
Very good, I see that most of you are headed for the doors already. Those who are still here, let’s open our textbooks to page three ninety-one. It won’t do you any good, all of our books are virtual now anyway, as physical books are disease ridden and accelerate the spread of disease, but just humor me on this one.
Ok? Thanks.
How many of you have friends who have gotten involved in Pyramid schemes? Show of hands. Hmm, very interesting. Everybody, everybody.
Pyramid schemes, or multi-level marketing models, operate on the principle of turning consumers into salespeople. As a salesperson involved in a multi-level marketing scheme it is not merely your job to sell products, it is also your job to convince other people to sell the products that you are selling. When the people below you in the multi-level marketing hierarchy make a sale you, as the superior individual in this relationship, get a kickback from that sale.
Naturally, this organizational structure is most beneficial to the people at the top of the structure. In fact, it’s often a really bad deal for those at the bottom of the pyramid.
Who cares? The poor suckers get pulled into a scheme that doesn’t benefit them in the least and end up losing all of their friends in the process? Sure, it’s a slight moral problem, but it doesn’t stop the guy who’s almost earned enough points to win that Mercedes.
So where do we see these schemes playing out in society? What organizations propagate them? There are the only standby classics like Amway; groups which sell vitamins and essential oils seem to put these schemes to good use, but right now, let’s talk about the granddaddy of all multi-level-marketing schemes. It’s a scheme that uses millions upon millions of people as pawns to achieve ultimate and extreme levels of power.
That’s right kids, today we’re going to talk about the United States Presidential Elections. Remember that, every time you argue with a friend about which candidate is the best, or post something on social media about how it’s the end of the world if one candidate or another wins or loses you are taking part in a gigantic multi-level-marketing scheme. The benefit to you is miniscule, if it exists at all. But if the people who are running the scheme get enough people like you to buy into it and spread their message it may help them accumulate power.
Ok, kids, That’s all for today. You can pack up your books and get back to your comfortable and ambivalent existence.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
Wait! Did you say three ninety-one?
That page is all about ontology or general metaphysics.
Have I got the right text book?
I think you may have got the wrong class
You most certainly do.
This must be a guest post by smartestblogger.
I might have that individual do a guest post at some point.
Oh, can’t wait!
Well, I’m not sure, you seem to be on the right track, but show me the concrete peer reviewed data 🙂
On it.
🙂
Today I weeded the garden and pulled out some turnips that were going to seed. These days the edge of the garden is the perimeter of my political world. But I shall be rooting for… oh… another weed I missed…
Keep pulling!
I bought my textbook used and page 391 was torn out and is completely missing! And I suppose you expect me to believe that you are going to tell the truth about what was supposed to be on that page, hmm‽‽‽
And I suppose the dog ate your homework?
He did but it didn’t agree with him.
Fair enough.
haha! this reminded me of one Brooklyn 99 episode!
Which one? I’ve seen a bit of that show. It’s pretty fun.
Can’t argue with that.
However, I do want my money back. I don’t think I can get any more cynical than I already am…
Sorry. The contract you signed clearly stated that no refunds would be accepted.
*rips contract* what contract?
So that’s how you want to play this?
Yup.