Welcome to the Space Exploration and Undersea Inertia Society. While we appreciate, on an intellectual level, the exploration of outer space we strongly believe in the practical benefits of adhering to the most firmly held and practiced undersea inertia principles. In keeping with these principles we must strongly discourage the unfettered exploration and unchecked fantasies which hearken individuals with roving imaginations into the farthest reaches of the many disparate galaxies which comprise our known realms of existence.
To combat this dangerous and umbrogulated tendency we propose a ten step system to ensure the fettered fortitude of our younger generation. A fortitude which will lead to security, balance and mediocrity.
All those who share, as we do, a fond and beneficient attitude towards of the younger generation will undoubtedly see the benefit and meritorius wisdom of this sagacious plan.
- All avenues of transportation shall be supplied with adequate security measures to suppress unfettered movement.
- Pie will be provided to all those who opt not to go on superfluous journeys.
- If you stay you get a puppy.
- The Dental plan is excellent.
- All spaceships must carry 100 loose eggs.
- You will be required to donate a limb when you get back.
- Our regressive tax system will be designed to penalize risk takers.
- Cardboard boxes will be provided.
- There will be a weekly cheesecake festival at 4th and Grandin.
- Sleep is good.
All donations are tax deductible.
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