208: How To Log an Enchanted Forest

Logging is generally a pretty low key job. I mean, sure, you have gajillion ton trees that are falling down inches from your face, and the chance for serious injury and death is pretty great, but aside from that it’s pretty chill. Of course, if you happen to be logging in an enchanted forest it brings up all kinds of new difficulties.

There are many different kinds of enchanted forests. Every kind of enchanted forest presents its own difficulties in regards to logging, but many of these difficulties have already been addressed.

If you’re looking to log an enchanted forest here are a few pointers.

1) The moving tree forest

Perhaps the most prominent type of enchanted forest is the moving trees type. Logging in this type of forest is similar to what would traditionally be called trapping. By placing sand around the forest you can entrap the trees, making it impossible for them to move effectively. Of course, cutting them down once they are in the sand presents an entirely new set of difficulties. The struggling trees can fall in very unpredictable manners, greatly increasing the risk associated with cutting them down. A method that has been tested to deal with this difficulty is to attach the tree to helicopters and lift them out of the forest. It’s not a simple solution, but preliminary tests do seem to be showing some promise.

2) The magical creature forest

A second type of enchanted forest is the magical creature kind. The difficulties in logging this type of forest are far less insurmountable than the ones associated with the moving forest type. Many repellents are on sale for werewolves, giant beavers, enlarged arachnids, the Loch Ness monster and others. These repellents have proved to be quite effective. Although Unicorn repellent has proved to be far less effective the fact is that unicorns have never presented a serious danger to loggers.

3) The randomly appearing quicksand forest

A third type of forest is the randomly appearing quicksand forest. This type of forest is too unpredictable, and should be avoided at all costs.

If you ever want to log a forest and discover that it is enchanted, don’t give up. Remember that many solutions for logging enchanted forests have already been considered and implemented.

Consult the experts, and chop down those trees!


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Photo by Matthias Groeneveld on Pexels.com

20 thoughts on “208: How To Log an Enchanted Forest

  1. If you bring down an enchanted forest what happens to all those Dragons, Dwarfs, Elves, Fairies, Giants, Gnomes, Goblins, Imps, Ogres, Trolls, Unicorns, and other mythical creatures?

    They move to France!

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