203: Colorado for Old People

Florida is basically Colorado, but for old people. -Anonymous.

 

Shawna had just finished folding her bed when her cellphone rang. “It must be an old person,” she thought. Young people don’t make unscheduled phone calls. Glancing at the phone she saw that it was her grandmother from Florida.

Slightly annoyed, she picked up the phone.

“Hi, Grandma.”

“Hi, Shawna, I just thought I’d call and see how things are going.

The smokers rasp in Grandma’s voice was unmistakeable. It was really disturbing how people use to smoke tobacco back in the day without even thinking about it. Big tobacco was one of the things that got Shawna’s blood boiling. She lit up a joint to ease her nerves.

“So how is it going, Shawna?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. It’s going really good. My partner and I are doing well.”

“That’s good to hear. Your grandfather and I are thinking about coming up to Yellowstone next summer, we thought we might stop by.”

Shawna winced. She loved her Grandma, but the trappings of capitalism which she carried with her wherever she went were hard to ignore. The idea of giving your life to corporate America for years and then buying a gas guzzling RV to tool around the country in was foreign and repulsive to Shawna.

Her and her partner had built their tiny house with their own two hands. Well, ok. They hadn’t built the whole thing, but they had gone to a tiny house co-op and put the finishing touches on it. Now they were committed to living a sustainable lifestyle, far from the dredges and influences of corporate America.

“You should give us a call when you’re on your way.” Said Shawna. “We were thinking about bringing the tiny house down to Utah for a bit this summer, so we might not be around.”

“We were planning on coming through on June 12th.” Said Shawna’s Grandmother.

“We’ll see if it works.” Said Shawna.

“When were you planning on going to Utah?”

“I don’t know yet, we like to be spontaneous about these things.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Well, thanks for calling Grandma, but I should really go.”

She hadn’t unfolded the couch yet.

“Okay, good to chat.”

“Bye.”

“Oh, wait Shawna, one more thing. Did you get the check we sent yet?”

 

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Photo by James Frid on Pexels.com

30 thoughts on “203: Colorado for Old People

  1. That was really very good. Especially the check part. I’m warning you, one of these times you’re going to give away that you really aren’t as dumb as all that.
    I do have to contradict the Colorado/Florida comparison, however. Florida does not have beautiful mountains, they have swamps. Florida has alligators, pythons (which had been pets and knuckleheads released and now they are a menace to Florida)and water moccasins. Colorado does have snakes, but they can’t live above a certain elevation.

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