The jury is out on the 2020 Major League Baseball season. No one is quite sure if it will happen, and if it does happen the number of games is totally up in the air. The possibility of eliminating audiences has been batted around.
On one level this is deeply saddening. Baseball is a very fun way to pass the time. As someone who spends a lot of time driving, there’s nothing I would rather listen to while I’m on the road than a good baseball game. As far as leisure is concerned it doesn’t get much better than spending an evening at a baseball game.
Negatives aside, I always believe in looking on the bright side. As a non-athletic individual I often feel out of place when I compare myself to the athletic power-houses. For a brief moment the absence of baseball puts me on an even footing with the best that baseball has to offer. The amazing Christian Yelich of the Milwaukee Brewers, arguably one of the best players in the game, has scored exactly as many home runs as I have this year. And there is a high probability that my streak will continue.
By resorting to a tried and true baseball tactic I am confident that I may be able to have an even better season than Yelich, Manny Machado, Anthony Rizzo or any other would be great in Baseball. I refer, of course, to the tried and true method of cheating.
Perhaps the most famous instance of cheating in baseball stretches back over one hundred years ago, to the 1919 World Series when the Chicago White Sox threw the series to some other team whose name I don’t remember. Not to be outdone, the 2017 Houston Astros used an elaborate scheme of banging on garbage cans to communicate pitches to batters, subsequently winning a World Series. In the 2000s Barry Bonds used steroids to cheat his way to an all-time home run record.
As the illustrations above make clear, cheating is not only common in baseball, it is also effective. I believe that I can effectively use the method of cheating to have a successful baseball season. In the epic documentary on the life of American teenagers in 1980s, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” we are shown how American teenagers in the 80s adjusted their grades and improved their attendance by hacking into computer systems.
Computer hacking skills are not something I claim much expertise in, but the possibility of becoming the home run king of 2020 through computer hacking seems more likely than the possibility of me getting the most home runs legitimately in some other year.
Success is all about seeing opportunities where others see roadblocks. I view the current situation in baseball as a major opportunities. Sometimes following your dream means waiting for the right opportunity. It’s unlikely that I will ever have a better opportunity to lead baseball in home runs than I do this year.
Dumbest Blog Ever 
I was at first grievously disappointed that you’re not a super sports jock, because for a moment I had thought I was at last communicating with someone who wasn’t a complete nerd. Your reputation however was rescued when you said you were not a good hacker, i.e. not entirely nerdy. So all in all, I’m pleased. And although baseball in “not my thing” I can understand the sentiments wholeheartedly – being a fan of cricket.
Thanks. Glad to redeem myself. Baseball is a great game. All joking aside it’ll be nice to have back.
You can do this! You can be the baseball hero of all time. Why, they would likely place you in the Hall of Fame, next to Abbott and Costello!
Everyone will be asking who I am.
Just remain humble and tell them, “I am the Dumbest Blogger of the Dumbest Blog Ever.” Try not to sound to pretentious when you say it, though.
Good advice. Thanks.
I feel like I just got off a wild train of thought, but realize all the landmarks made sense somehow. 🚆
Choo-choo! 🚂
Unfortunately, I don’t understand baseball – or any sports. But whenever baseball is the sport covered in movies, then I can’t deny that I do in fact enjoy a good listen to the game.
It’s such an American game and all. So I get real sad whenever it’s the Olympics or some other world season competition of the sport, and it’s another country instead of the U.S. that wins. I think the “other country” is always Japan. Argh.
It’s all good. There are a lot of Japanese and Korean players who play in the U.S at a very high level. If you’re looking for a good time check out a minor league game. Most mid to larger size American cities have minor league teams, it’s very relaxed, and it won’t hurt your bank account much either.
Are you suggesting that I should hack my math teacher’s computer and give myself an A? I’m thinking integrity might be more important than good grades. But if cheating has integrity, I’m all in.
Ferris Bueller seemed to be fine with it.
Okay.
Sounds like a good plan. I’m sure there’s some gorgeous hacker chick with fish nets and eye liner out there who will help you make it so.
Thanks. Does fishnet improve hacking skills?
According to the 1990’s it does.
I wonder if there’s some science behind that or something.
Undoubtedly
maybe the dumbest blogger can help me since this was all his idea. I think he has a few tricks up his sleeve. though I’m not sure if hacking is one of them.
Ask a smart question, get the dumbest answer.