The Benefits of Vicarious Digestion Devices

Statistics state that almost 40% of Americans struggle with obesity, an additional 32% are overweight. A major driver behind these startling statistics is the fact that American, on average, consume at least a thousand calories more than they should every day.

Our relationship with food is troubled and complicated. 10 to 15% of Americans suffer from eating disorders on a daily basis. Food in our world is plentiful and easy to obtain. Many of those who are mentally troubled by the excesses of our modern age are driven to the other extreme, and find themselves struggling with anorexia or bulimia.

How can we address our relationship with food in a healthy and productive way? Can we, in our modern world, find a healthy balance in our lives when it comes to caloric and nutritional intake?

I believe that we can.

I have invented a simple tool which I believe holds the key to solving our problems with food. I call this tool the Vicarious Digestion Device, or VIDDE. This simple and elegant device vicariously digests food which would otherwise be contributing to your daily caloric intake.

The hole in the top of the the box like structure of the VIDDE allows you to place any food which you would otherwise thoughtlessly eat inside the device. Once the food is placed inside the VIDDE its fully functional digestive system will break down the food and digest it, while you carry on with whatever other business you have to engage in.

I recommend keeping the VIDDE close at hand, especially when you are engaging in leisure activities. If you like to watch sporting events or TV shows the VIDDE will provide you with the perfect companion, as these activities are often accompanied by excessive caloric intake.

Although the appropriate research has not yet been completed on the VIDDE’s impact on alcoholism and drug dependency the initial results are quite promising.

I am optimistic that the VIDDE holds the key to revolutionizing our relationship with food. We struggle with food because our attitude about still reflects the past, instead of the present. The VIDDE allows us to have a relationship with food which is reflective of our every day life.

The VIDDE presents a positive force for our emotional, mental and physical health. Society will hopefully move towards full adoption soon.


Photo by Dumbestblogger

9 thoughts on “The Benefits of Vicarious Digestion Devices

  1. I threw my VIDDE away because I wrongfully thought it was for playing video tapes that have gone out of fashion. However, only yesterday I put my foot on a chair to do up a shoelace and thought, “My goodness, I haven’t seen my feet in months”.

  2. It’s all about the dopamine rush. Some get it from drugs, some get it from food and some get it from orgasms. Get some exercise, eat for fuel and not for taste. Get some lovin’ and the world would be a better place. We eat our way to disease. Good post dude 👍

  3. Don’t we already have a VIDDE? It’s called a trash can.
    But I like how you’re thinking – you don’t want to ruin the economy by telling people to stop buying so much food in the first place. With your invention, they will keep on spending on the food, the VIDDE, and everyone will be happy. Heck, maybe they’ll even spend more money on the food because watching your friend eat without eating yourself is no fun.

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