I drive slowly through the town. Christmas lights adorn the lamp posts. Snow swirls through the sky and holiday cheer fills the air. Inside picturesque homes cozy happy families eat Food Channel meals in their Better Homes and Garden kitchens.
The Hallmark Channel sucks.
Wisconsin is a great place for Hallmark movies. It’s in the middle of the country, there aren’t any really big cities. It’s sandwiched in between Chicago and Minneapolis, so ambitious and attractive young women who are soaring in their careers but struggling in their relationships can escape back to their roots and find the true meaning of Christmas.
Escape means there are other options. Walking away from your life and finding your roots requires a transcendence of success. You can’t afford to take off three weeks in the middle of winter and find true love if you don’t have a lot of money.
So if you want to live out your hallmark movie dreams and find true love you’d better make a some dough. You can’t buy love, but it does take a lot of money.
The Hallmark Channel is Christmas for the 1%.