New App Makes Rational Thought Unnecessary

Developers are in the final stages of creating an app which makes rational thought unnecessary. The revolutionary app is described by its creators as the logical successor to the FitBit. Through analyzing body data as well as data from the surrounding environment the app is able to calculate the most productive and healthy action an individual should take.

“Once we boil it down to what the best action is for someone physically we shouldn’t have to deal with pesky things like thought anymore.” Says Peter Seggs, one of the apps primary developers. “When you look at it through an evolutionary perspective it’s pretty clear that cognitive thought is just a survival tool. If Cro Magnon mankind had our technology they probably would have lived longer, more productive lives, had better cholesterol, and not had to deal with nasty things like individual thought.”

While the first stage of the product is aimed at simply informing people of the correct decision developers envision a second stage in which the technology would be placed directly into the brain stem. The app would then dictate decisions, over riding any other impulses in the brain.

“It’s really exciting,” says Seggs. “Never before in human history have we had the potential to make the scientifically correct decision in ever single situation!”

A third, more lofty goal of the development team is to dictate the scientific outcome in socio-political decision making.

 

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