How To Punch A Nazi

A friend recently regaled me with this precious gem.

Very thought provoking, and very useful in every day life. We all have pugilistic tendencies, and punching Nazi’s is a great way to indulge in those tendencies. I am reminded of a poem my sister wrote once that went something like this;

I want to punch you it the face
Please don’t take it personally
It’s just that I’m physically motivated to violence
and you have a motivational face

While I sympathize with the sentiment of the poem I think it’s important that we lay down some ground rules for when it is ok to actually punch someone in the face. The Wildebeest video gives us a very good basis to work from.

It’s not ok to punch just anyone in the face, but punching Nazi’s is a very good thing. The wonderful thing about Nazi’s is that in our modern world hardly anyone labels themselves a Nazi. So it is up to you to decide if they are a Nazi. There are many ways you can label someone a Nazi, but the most foolproof way to do it is to point out that that they have a bad haircut or to disagree with them politically.

Pay very close attention to haircuts and political beliefs. There is a fine line between assault and community service and these two markers are the best indicator of that line.

Once you have determined that someone is a Nazi you might find this flow chart from twitter helpful in determining your next move.


Now a couple words on technique.

I’m never been an expert puncher, but a quick google search can make you an expert on anything.

Here’s a diagram I came across.


This looks good on the surface, but I immediately spied a big red flag. If someone is writing about “the art of manliness” we should have a strong clue that that person is exactly the kind of individual we are wanting to learn how to punch. So anything the say is sure to be useless and bigoted.

On to the next diagram.


Ok. No f-ing clue what this mean. But it came up in my google search.



Boom. This is probably all you need.

My only comment is that you should probably avoid the use of red gloves, as red is obviously a symbol of evil.

That’s all for now folks.

Have fun, be safe, and punch Nazi’s!


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