Local Resident Pursues Dream of Looking Like Santa Claus

Preston, Idaho: Local resident Don Cheatsworth is working hard at achieving his dream of becoming the youngest Santa Claus look alike in U.S history. At 22, Cheatsworth would seem to have an uphill battle, but his hard work and steady perseverance make him one of the top candidates among a crowded group of young people hoping to achieve.

Cheatsworth training generally begins as soon as he wakes up at around 11:30 every morning. He practices a steady of intake that includes Cheetos, pizza, beer, soda, Oreos and Netflix, normal daily exercise includes long trips from his seat on the sofa to his refrigerator seven steps away, and generally include copious refills.

Cheatsworth sees his biggest obstacle as a tendency towards leanness that he has battled ever since he acquired his dream after sitting on the lap of a mall Santa at age seven. “I knew immediately that the biggest obstacle in my way was obtaining Santa’s jovial girth.” Said Cheatsworth.  To combat this tendency Cheatsworth and his trainers have crafted a system of high caloric intake coupled with limited exercise that has put him well on the road to obtaining the necessary size.

The regimen will also help Cheatsworth towards another, equally important physical attribute of the jolly old fellow. Cheatsworth’s trainer’s promise that his current lifestyle is the quickest possible way for him to obtain gray hair.

“Trying to look like Santa at a young age isn’t as easy as you’d think” Said Christopher Massy, Cheatsworth’s head nutritionist. “Getting the form is a good start, but having totally white hair by the time your in your mid-thirties? Not easy.” However, Massy believes that Cheatsworth has the discipline and singleness of purpose necessary to achieving a near total loss of pigment in his hair by the time he reaches his mid-thirties.

In spite of his purpose and discipline Cheatsworth has found money to be a serious issue in his quest to achieve Santa-hood. “If you’re a professional baseball or basketball player or have all of these really mainstream physical goals people are happy to throw money at you, but tell them you want to look like Santa and they just laugh.” Says Cheatsworth.

Fortunately for Cheatsworth his parents have been generous enough to lend him a room in their house, where he returned after spending a year and a half at a state university, and money enough for basic necessities like Pizza and Potato Chips. Although Cheatsworth is often forced to pay for extra’s like Chocolate Cake out of his own pocket. A difficult task since he does not foresee making any actual money from his chosen profession for the next fifteen years.

Although he has chosen a difficult path to follow in life Cheatsworth is confident and happy about his decisions. “Yes, it’s not easy now,” he says, “but one day I will look at my unkempt face in the mirror and see Santa Claus staring back at me. That day will make all of the privations I am facing now worthwhile.”

Cheatsworth’s trainer’s believe that if his current work ethic continues he may be able to pose convincingly as Santa Claus by as young as thirty-seven.


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